"Being Elisabeth Elliot" by Ellen Vaughn - BOOK REVIEW

I finally got to reading this book! If Ellen Vaughn’s first book (“Becoming Elisabeth Elliot” which tells the first half of Elisabeth's life) was excellent, than this second part was something far beyond that. It was really hard to put down…. I for sure lost some sleep this past week being up reading. And I wept at the end. (I had a good idea/spoilers of the ending ahead of time, but still, I wept.)  I should also add that the only disappointing aspect of this 2-part biography was there were NO PICTURES! (If you'd like some, and a timeline of her life, here's a great resource: https://elisabethelliot.org/about/timeline/)

 

I so appreciate how Ellen wrote this book. Like Ellen, I am a realist. Like her and Elisabeth I know that those we admire should never be put on pedestals as (near) perfect saints. Like her and Elisabeth, I want the whole truth to be spoken, regardless of other people’s opinions/reactions. And Ellen modeled, “speaking the truth in love”.... although I know I could grow in that particular aspect - I am probably more like Elisabeth in that regard.

 

I left the reading of this book with two emotions. One was utter sadness at the ending of Elisabeth’s life and the wrong/hard last years she suffered… largely because her views on marriage/submission were rather sadly twisted (which caused her and many she advised harm). My heart broke so for her (and her daughter/family members who had to watch) as it does for other women stuck in similar controlling marriages (this is a passionate area for me, one I’ve written about and continue to speak out about). While submission is one aspect of marriage, while someone making you “feel like a woman” is great, there is so much more to what God’s design is. Elisabeth desperately wanted to feel secure, she missed the signs of Lars’ anger/control issues (although to give her some credit, so did everyone else around her), and she believed that a wife’s submission meant inferiority and being under a husband’s authority (which I agree Jim’s unintentional but unfortunate treatment of her during their early courtship contributed to - see the first book for more on that). Marriage was not intended by God to be authoritarian, even though because of sin, it often ended up that way. Marriage, as in Ephesians 5, is mutual submission, it is not one-sided, even though the wives’ submission is emphasized, and the husband's responsibility to love is emphasized. It is supposed to be mutual love, respect, submission, Christ-like giving, working together for the kingdom of God. Elisabeth, for her part, tried to do just that. But unfortunately, she married a man who actually wanted to control her, not love her like Christ. There are still abusive, controlling men (and women) in churches today. There are popular pastors teaching authority/submission imbalance in marriage, overlooking and even defending abusive behavior (even actual abuse that should be reported to the police), all the while teaching on “God’s grace” and “love for others”. If Elisabeth’s third marriage saddens and rather makes you angry that’s good… but pay attention to the fact that it’s still happening all around us. I should clarify here that I am a committed "soft" complementarian... I cannot reconcile the Egalitarian views on gender/marriage with Scripture. However, many "complementarians" are actually authoritarians or defenders of "Biblical patriarchy" so it's very important that we are careful and clear about what we mean in this area. For more reading on this topic, I highly recommend THIS series.

 

The other emotion I was left with after reading this book was still, a very great admiration. Elisabeth was human, she made mistakes… but still, I came away admiring her faith, her endurance through so much suffering, her commitment to what she believed, her willingness to “tell it like it is”. She spoke out about many things and was indeed rather a “seer” in her generation. Despite being married to a controlling false believer for the last period of her life, God used this season for her to write most of her books and influence thousands for Christ. Our suffering is never for nothing, and despite our/others' sin, God uses us. 

 

Elisabeth was a faithful servant of God who persevered to the end… I seek to learn from her, follow her example in some ways and to do better in other ways, and earnestly praise God for the good He did in and through her life. 

 

My Response to Why I Warn Against the Wilsons

 A friend of mine recently asked me why I didn't like Rachel Jankovic (author and daughter of Pastor Doug Wilson) and thought she was a hypocrite. Here is my response. (I will probably add to this as time goes on and I have more time to write more specific things.)

So my primary concern with Rachel is her affiliation and similar teaching/theology as her father (thus this post is about "the Wilson's"). I have done extensive digging into his theology, character, and handing of church/other matters and would put him in the category of a false teacher. There are too many serious concerns to not to. I believe his teaching to be dangerous. In fact, I consider Doug Wilson a dangerous false teacher and an abusive narcissist. So, while I will admit I have not thoroughly examined Rachel's writing/speaking very specifically, as she and her father work together and teach/hold to the same things I haven’t felt it was necessary to spend the time to do that. 

 

As for their hypocrisy... a hypocrite is someone who says one thing and does another. If someone claims to be an orthodox, Biblical teacher, but teaches things that are opposed to, even offensive to the truths of Orthodox Christianity, than umm yeah that makes them a hypocrite. So the real issue here is whether or not what the Wilson's teach is consistent with Scripture and Orthodox Christianity.

 

I will below list my main areas of concern with the Wilson's (and by this I mean Doug Wilson, his family or really anyone associated with him). Please note I don’t necessarily agree with everything his critics say or believe themselves, but when it comes to the topic(s) at hand, I believe they are absolutely right in their critique and concerns. Those who have gleaned good things from the Wilson's may think they are just throwing stones, but most of them have tried very hard to be fair in their critiques and concerns. Some of these are or seem small, but small things add up as well. Small flaws in character add up to bigger ones. The more small things I saw, the more I slowly became concerned. It will take some time for you to get through all this…. It was several months of me listening, reading and researching to come to the convictions I have now.

 

Doug Wilson’s questionable (heretical?) theology: It is important to say that a lot of what the Wilson's say, *seems* orthodox and right, and a lot of it IS orthodox. However, their false doctrine/teaching is extremely sneaky and subtle. I will share a lot of what others have written/said since they have done more extensive work and say it better than I could.

 

His view of Justification This is one of the biggest and most serious concerns. I really don’t have time to write out a whole explanation and argument, plus the two below do it very well:

https://theocast.org/is-doug-wilson-a-false-teacher/

https://thelondonlyceum.com/on-justification-doug-wilson-and-the-moscow-doctrine/

 

On Federal Vision: This is rather complex, but to summarize for you, Wilson says he’s Reformed, but the views he holds on the Covenants and on justification do not line up with traditional/orthodox Reformed theology. A lot of Reformed people outside his camp have serious concerns with views on this (and obviously Arminians would strongly disagree with him in this area of theology as well).  https://carm.org/about-theology/what-is-federal-vision-theology-and-is-it-biblical/

 

(P.S. Doug Wilson has claimed he no longer holds to “Federal Vision” however, it is very important to note that he has NOT rejected the theology that Federal Vision holds to - and that is the problem. In other words, he’s rejecting the label but keeping the theology. Tricksy… and completely hypocritical.)

 

Views on men’s/women’s roles:  The more I have read/heard from the Wilson's on this topic, the more I have been seriously concerned - and downright disgusted. The extreme patriarchy is very subtle at times, but I would assert is NOT in line with Biblical complementarianism. Again, they say a lot of things thare are actually right or at least *seem* right, but digging deeper I have often seen some red flags and have thoughts like “ehhh I’m not sure that’s quite right/balanced”. And on further study, I've found their view to not be in line with Scripture. As Rachel has written more about the area of womenhood it's important to address her specifically here. But as she is collusion with her father, I cannot freely trust her view on being a Biblical woman/wife/mother. While I have seen she does have many good and right things to say, there are also some huge concerns and wrong theology... At best, I would have to give too many cautions to feel I could recommend her to anyone. 

 Here's an article documenting the abusive teaching on a wife's obligation to submit to rape: https://www.vice.com/en/article/inside-the-church-that-preaches-wives-need-to-be-led-with-a-firm-hand/

Here is something from Rachel's own mouth... she's being grossly mistreated/controlled and doesn't even see it... seriously? What Christ-like husband would treat his brand new wife like this???: https://www.facebook.com/ExaminingMoscow/videos/346749201336488 

And while we're at it, here's another video from Rachel with a rather shocking condemning and hypocritical attitude. Other's "know for absolute certain?" You're a woman, you can't do anything right - that is the main message I've gotten from Rachel.  https://www.facebook.com/ExaminingMoscow/videos/1920306348165019

And one more for you: 

I can also talk about Nancy Wilson and her parenting advice.... you can watch clips of her "Biblical parenting advice" here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75lZfjq_GWg  The whole Wilson family also appears in this video - notice the gaslighting from several of them - Dean (the host/critic) is really good at pointing out the red flags you should notice. (P.S This is very similar to the Pearl's borderline(at best?) abusive parenting advice - STAY AWAY! P.S.S. I am not at all anti-spanking, I think it can be fine done correctly, but it can very easily be done wrongly.)

I will add here that I have personal experience of having to submit to and respect a husband who was in the wrong - who was going the wrong direction theologically - it was hard, I had to learn and grow a lot in my obedience to God in my submission and attitude towards my husband, however, my complementarianism/beliefs about submission are NOT the same as the Wilson's. I would absolutely not put them in the same category.  

I have seen too many quotes and heard things Doug Wilson himself has said that are downright demeaning to women and completely unbiblical. Here’s an example: It might just be a woman's fault if she gets raped.... “But women who genuinely insist on ‘no masculine protection’ are really women who tacitly agree on the propriety of rape.” (Douglas Wilson, Her Hand in Marriage, p. 13) (And no, I’m not taking this out of context, you can read more in articles I’ve shared).

 

Here’s some people who have written about concerns in this area:

https://fullmetalpatriarchy.wordpress.com/category/doug-wilson/

https://mereorthodoxy.com/sex-submission-and-evangelicals-doug-wilson-controversial-words

https://spiritualsoundingboard.com/2016/01/15/pastor-doug-wilson-on-rape-submission-feminists-and-boobs/

 

Doug Wilson/Christ’s church handing of sexual sin and sexual abuse:

This is another HUGE concern. I'm not sure there is another area of all of life that makes me more angry than the ignoring/injustice of abuse in "Christian" environments. If I were to curse like Doug Wilson and his crew does, this is where I'd do it. Not only do the above patriarch views allow for this kind of thing to flourish, there continues to be very little accountability or serious concern for protecting others and dealing with abusers appropriately. There has been NO admission of “hey maybe we got this wrong” only defensive tactics. I have looked into this probably the most extensively - I have listened to the victims and others who witnessed the situation(s), read reports, the actual court cases, etc.

You can find more information about the abuse cases at this link (which also provides links to actual court cases): https://bredenhof.ca/2023/07/10/doug-wilson-the-ugly/

 

Another article on this issue:

https://religiondispatches.org/sexual-abuse-is-inevitable-in-christian-patriarchy-just-take-a-look-at-doug-wilsons-christ-church-and-its-new-documentary-eve-in-exile-the-restoration-of-femininity/

 

Other personal/character concerns:

His crude language and sexualized content. This is mentioned in several of the resources I’ve shared, but worth stating again. Much of it is downright disgusting and inappropriate for a Christian. I have directly read and personally listened to SO many crude things, and swear words (F-word, s-word, d-word and so much more) from Doug Wilson and from others who work closely with him. I will not link any videos or proof of this one but it's easy to find. They literally throw these words around the same as an unbeliever would. Is this really the kind of people you want to recommend to others?

 

Also, when he first was trying to become pastor of his current church, the elders didn’t think he conformed to their statement of faith (mainly having to do with his view of justification above). They asked him to either conform or step down. Instead, he mobilized church members to support him and basically forced the other elders to resign/leave and took over the leadership of the church. It was a forcible power struggle that he won. This is not an appropriate way to be any kind of respectable leader and I consider this a very bad indication of his character - but it lines up with other control issues that are reported. (This whole thing is common knowledge and a number of people have written about it - it’s mentioned in several of the resources I shared.) The main reason Wilson formed his own denomination is that none of the other main (Presbyterian Church of America is where he first tried to join) denominations would accept him. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with starting your own denomination, but if it’s because you can’t find a single one you could at least be acceptable in - that indicates a problem. Not to mention I'm pretty sure he's just a narcissist who wants to be in complete control.

 

 

Other resources:

I would recommend checking out this facebook page (they are also on Instagram) - I wouldn’t agree with all their angles or everything they say, but they bring to light a lot of what I mentioned above and a lot of provide evidence in videos, quotes, documents, etc. https://www.facebook.com/ExaminingMoscow

 

This is written by a unitarian, so obviously there are some things in there we wouldn’t agree with him on, however he tries to be fairly fair and goes through some of the other things mentioned above as well as some I didn’t take the time to mention (i.e. Doug Wilson’s controlling nature, sloppy writing and references in writing, his view on slavery in America, his extreme patriarchy, extreme political views, etc. - all of which I would agree are concerning).

https://www.webpages.uidaho.edu/ngier/wilsonempire.htm

 

 

In closing, so yes, I absolutely warn against the Wilson's, and anyone associated with them. If you're not convinced yet, take the time to listen to/read through the links provided.

Reading List: Parenting, The Kennedy's & Discrimination

 

Finished since last post:

 

Grace-Based Discipline by Karis Kimmel Murray

This was an excellent book! On top of having a great gift and style in writing, Karis Murray shares a lot of very practical advice when it comes to dealing with your child’s bad behavior. Many important reminders include: Don’t take your child’s behavior personally, your child is a sinner so “we shouldn’t be surprised if they act that way”, “you must separate your child’s behavior from their heart” and what the book really boils down to: How does God parent/discipline us? This is crucial because “Parents are the primary reflection our kids see of God’s heart and His grace.” How you parent and discipline teaches your child more about God than anything you could possibly say! As parents we ought to seek to parent as God does His children, and for that we need wisdom. “The only way we’ll be able to discern whether to give our children consequences, mercy or anything in between is if we’ve built a close enough relationship with our kids to afford us some perspective. That’s the only way our discipline will truly be for them.” (emphasis hers)

Karis differentiates between grace and mercy, punishment or retaliation and discipline, shame and remorse and gives practical examples. She also helpfully lays out the type of discipline and/or consequences that are most effective for different ages. Throughout the book there are great stories and examples from Karis’ own experience under her parents (who modeled this well) and with her own children.  

 

The Kennedy Curse by Edward Klein

 

This was a very interesting biography of the Kennedy family. Really good read! As in, I had a hard time putting it down! It explores the lives and deaths of various members of the Kennedy family (from JFK’s great-grandparents to JFK Jr.) and gives a lot of very insightful information into their family traits and patterns. Traits of narcissism, perfectionism and a weakness towards alcohol and sex led to destructive patterns and many times early avoidable deaths. Is there a “Kennedy curse”? More accurately we should call this sin’s curse, and the reality is that in some families, these kinds of sinful traits leave patterns of destruction than curse its descendants in more unique ways. A sad book in many ways because of this, but again, a very interesting read.  

 

Discrimination and Disparities by Thomas Sowell

 

This was a really excellent book on understanding economics, discrimination (not just race-based) and disparities among people. Definitely recommend anything by Thomas Sowell, who is a well-known economist. 

 

The chapter “Discrimination: Meanings and Costs” distinguished the different kinds of discrimination and showed how things like minimum wage laws and making it illegal for employers to do criminal background checks were actually hurting the black community – not helping promote equality which was the original intent. Employers who did background checks were actually MORE likely to hire blacks than those who didn’t – because the fact remains that more blacks tend to have criminal records so those who didn’t do checks made assumptions rather than hire based on facts. Another interesting thing was that while some people in America do have some discrimination against blacks, in the end cost/benefit will win. For example, Harlem used to be a very white neighborhood and landlords didn’t want to rent to blacks. However, as things changed and more blacks moved into the general area and at the same time whites were moving out – the landlords shifted as well. The cost to not rent to a black was too high. One point from this is that laws are not as effective in changing things as plain “cost/benefit”. Most people will trade their discrimination for something that benefits them. Another example he gave was in the south when the segregation laws were passed. Many of the trolley companies fought these laws because they realized that not only would it offend many of their customers (who were black) it would cost them more money since they ended up needing more trolley cars to seat everyone in the “appropriate” section. They lost in court but even then, many companies didn’t enforce the law at all until the government started fining them. Again – cost/benefit affected discrimination more than laws did.

 

His chapter on “Sorting and Unsorting of People” was very interesting. People naturally “sort” themselves into like-minded groups. Indeed, where the government has attempted to “unsort” people (move people around to make communities more “diverse”), while it helps a few people, in general it has not helped the majority of people (either those already in the community or those brought in). In fact, it has tended to hurt the community/people already there. While most whites have not complained out of fear of being called “racist”, many blacks who were residents of communities where the government was moving poorer blacks in complained and resisted about “those people” being brought in. They knew that it would not benefit their community – in fact they were very concerned about the likely increase of crime, devaluing of property (because poorer people don’t tend to take care of their property well), etc.

 

“The net result of police backing off [because the don’t want to be called racist] is often a rise in crime, of which law-abiding residents in black communities are the principle victims. Some people think that they are being kind to blacks by going along with unsubstantiated claims of ‘racial profiling’ by the police. But, as distinguished black scholar Sterling A Brown said, long ago: ‘Kindness can kill as well as cruelty, and it can never take the place of genuine respect’.” (p. 85-86)

 

“As obvious as this may seem, it is often forgotten. Nothing that the Germans can do today will in any way mitigate the staggering evils of what Hitler did in the past. Nor can apologies in American today for slavery in the past have any meaning, much less do any good, for either blacks or whites today… The only times over which we have any degree of influence at all are the present and the future – both of which and be made worse by attempts at symbolic restitution among the living for what happened among the dead…Pretending to have powers that we do not have, in fact, have risks creating needless evils in the present while claiming to deal with the evils of the past…. To admit we cab do nothing about what happened among the dead is not to give up the struggle for a better world, but to concentrate our efforts where they have at least some hope of making things better for the living.” (p.127)

 

Up Next: Q and Social Justice.... should be interesting!

Christians, Civil Liberty and Resisting Authority

With the health and economic situation going on in our country and the world right now, there are all kinds of various opinions, feelings and beliefs on how the virus should be handled and what rights the government has over personal freedom even in a time of crisis.

I have seen a few Christian organizations that have written articles arguing for the Christian’s obligation to submit to governing authorities – specifically right now with the stay-at-home orders etc. While they do make some valid points, and while Romans 13/1 Peter 2 do indeed have a lot to say to us today, there are some very key points that I believe these authors have neglected.

1) In America, our supreme “governing authority” is the Constitution, not the governing leaders themselves. Our leaders are supposed to be subject to the Constitution; “we the people” hold the true power and are responsible to hold our elected leaders accountable to the Constitution. Romans was written to Christians under Rome, indeed a pagan government but still different in structure than ours. There are indeed applications we must make, but they were not under the Constitution like we are today. Therefore, it is not an equal or simple application. To simply quote Scripture without considering these societal differences is not good exegesis at all. Is it right to allow our elected leaders to ignore and/or misuse the Constitution they, under oath, committed to defending? It is one thing to respect the office someone holds; it is another to do nothing while a person abuses that office.

2) There are always limits to our submission to authority, and that includes many “gray” areas of conscience. Complete, unquestioned submission is NOT Biblical. Clear Biblical violation is obvious, we are called according to Scripture to obey God rather than men, but in areas of conscience where the Word of God is not so clear it gets very complicated. (We have this problem in churches and families too.) Some of the authors acknowledge there is a time for “civil disobedience” but are vague about what this means, and they do they acknowledge any issues of conscience. We cannot just tell others they should “submit to governing authority” when it’s not a clear-cut Biblical issue and their conscience tells them that what the government is requiring is not right or lawful. To quote Scripture like that is a cop-out and, I believe, an abuse of Scriptural authority.

3) I wonder if these authors have considered that if we did follow “submit to governing authority” the way they are suggesting that we most certainly would not be where we are right now. The American Revolution very likely never would have happened – and even if it had, our country would certainly not have been built nearly entirely by God-fearing men (although not all Christians by any means). None of us would be sitting where we are right now, perhaps we would not even exist. Slavery would still be legal. The Civil Rights movement wouldn’t have happened, and neither would hundreds of other movements that have built us a (mostly) better society.

4) At least one article quoted 1 Tim 2:1-6 (“Pray for your leaders so that you may lead quiet, godly lives…”) and said we should “strive” to live quiet and godly lives but gave NO application for what this actually means. If our leaders allow us to do this well then great, but what if they don’t? Does being “quiet and godly” mean submissively laying down under the whip? Are we not allowed to defend ourselves when we are being unjustly treated? Does it mean we should not seek to hold our leaders accountable to the oath they took to defend our Constitution? I think Micah 6:8 is a little more specific: “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to seek justice, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” We are called to stand for truth and justice, and to seek to be kind and merciful towards all.

5) And then there's Jer. 29:7, where the Israelite's are instructed to “seek the peace and prosperity” of the foreign nation where they dwell. This is not talking about the internal peace God gives us despite suffering or hard circumstances. This peace is more external, and has a lot to do with security. To ultimately feel secure you need to be free to live your life as you believe is right and good. Peace is freedom from oppression, unrest, injustice. This cannot be a short-term freedom/security either; you can’t have peace if you are uncertain about future security. We as Americans seek the peace of our nation by seeking order and justice (adherence to the law, ultimately the Constitution), and also by seeking to get along with/tolerating others even though you may have disagreements. To have peace, sometimes you have to compromise on issues (although there are lawful and moral limits of course). I don’t know about you, but all this reminds me a lot of the phrase “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” (from the Declaration of Independence).

6) They neglect Human Responsibility in the nurturing and preservation of truth and justice. This is rather connected to the last point. Like parents are responsible for the raising of their children, like pastors are responsible for their flock, we, as citizens of this country, are responsible for her preservation. The results are always God’s, but we will be held accountable for our stewardship. There are consequences for inaction as well as action. You reap what you sow. “...whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully” (2 Cor 9:6).

To conclude, in respect to government, we as Christians are called to:

1. Trust God’s sovereignty, remember this world is not our home, etc. This should be a given, but we do need to be reminded from time to time.

2. Pray (and support, and vote) for leaders who will allow us to live peaceable, godly lives. Absolutely!

3. Respect authority, give honor to wear honor is due - remembering that our ultimate authority (and therefore due the most respect) in America is the Constitution.

4. Seek the peace, prosperity  and preservation of our nation – by seeking justice and respecting the laws and protecting the liberty we are blessed to possess.
5. And of course, try our best to be kind and gracious towards those who think differently. 

So Christian, humbly seek wisdom in how you should honor God, trust, pray, be respectful to that which is the authority. Seek peace and security, stand up for truth, for what is right and just and lawful. "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." – Ben Franklin

I highly recommend everyone watching this video:  Freedom versus Fear video

“These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the

sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their

country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of

man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have

this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more

glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly:

it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how

to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if

so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated”
 -Thomas Paine, The Crisis

Should Church Elders Be Obeyed Unconditionally?

Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep 

watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be 

a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.    

–  Hebrews 13:17

Over and over in Proverbs we are exhorted to pursue, value and gain wisdom. One way we do this is by seeking counsel from those more spiritually mature. One obvious example is church leadership. In the verse quote above we have a fairly clear exhortation in fact to obey and submit to our church leadership as having authority over us. But is this obedience and submission to be unconditional? What happens if these leaders are wrong? They are, after all, human and sinners too. In comparison, wives are also told to submit to their husbands, but does this mean unconditional obedience as well?

In all things: seek wisdom

While wisdom is often found in seeking godly counsel, first and foremost it is found in the whole counsel of Scripture - through prayer and the leading of the Holy Spirit. It is there that we are reminded that, ultimately, our head and authority is Christ, and after Him then we submit ourselves to others. Submission in marriage is done by wives submitting ultimately to Christ and loving and serving our husband first and foremost as their brother in Christ (not as a master). Indeed “headship” in marriage “is only true authority to the extent that a husband is faithful to Jesus, so that he is not a ‘head’ by virtue of simply being a husband” (from the book Fractured Covenants). The same applies to church leaders. One does not automatically deserve unconditional respect and obedience simply because of the office he holds. I respect the office of the President of the United States. This does not mean I automatically respect the person holding that office or would do whatever he told me.

I will share a personal example… A number of years ago I attended a Bible/discipleship school for a semester and while there applied for an internship with a sister-ministry that was literally my “dream job”. I did not at all expect to get accepted so when I did, it appeared to be a pretty clear calling as it was a wonderful fit for my gifts and passions and I had a deep respect for the ministry, its founders, and team members. However, the pastors/elders at my then home church had some theological and personal disagreements with the school I was at and “strongly urged” me to stay home. I was confused. While I could see their reasons for concern, I did not have the same concerns about the certain points of doctrine (and at least one I disagreed with completely) and did not consider these reasons to be “reason enough” for me to not go. But I wrestled with the text above. Shouldn’t I listen to and submit to my church elders? I deeply desired to be obedient to God and submit my desires to the Lord. I responded to the elders and said that despite the fact that I disagreed with them I was willing to submit to their leadership. One thing was still holding me back, however, and that was that I hadn’t yet been able to discuss the issue with my parents as they had gone out of the country. Immediately after I sent that response, I was filled with a strong conviction that I was supposed to go. I went to my parents as soon as they returned home, told them everything and that I strongly believed I was supposed to go. They were in complete agreement and wrote my elders telling them that I was going to go with their blessing. They weren’t too happy about this, but respected my parent's authority. There did however continue to be some pressure until my parents basically told them that they were done discussing it. I interned with this wonderful ministry for 2.5 years and several years later I have no regrets, still believe I did the right thing and greatly value the time that I spent serving with this ministry. The elders at that church are wonderful people; they love the Lord and have had positive influence in my life. I learned a lot from them and I am grateful for their concern for my spiritual life. But just because someone is a church leader, or someone in spiritual authority, or even someone you respect does not mean they are always right and should be unconditionally obeyed.  

If church leaders ever demand complete and unconditional submission/obedience they are spiritually abusing their position and hurting the very people God gave them to care for and protect. Similarly, if they use their position in spiritual leadership to convince someone to submit to them on an issue that is not clear in Scripture (example: they say something like “as your pastor/elder I urge you to submit to us”) that is also dangerous. If something is not clear in Scripture all you can do is advise. You cannot “urge”. (I tend to think that this is sometimes a way of avoiding the word “command”. They are not really “commanding” you, and so they justify their pressure on you.)

You can also get Scripture to mean anything if you utilize it the right way. It’s important to remember that just because someone can quote Scripture to you does not mean that it is a right interpretation or application. If it seems like Scripture is being used as a weapon in order to convince you to submit, be wary! This is not Biblical submission.

In all things: seek Wisdom

As you are facing decisions in your life, by ALL MEANS talk to your church leaders and seek their counsel. But Pray. Seek the counsel of other people you respect and trust. Pray. Read and meditate on the Word. Did I mention pray? Above all, pray and seek the Person of Wisdom. Then, do what you believe is the right thing to do. As you seek to submit yourself to God, He promises to guide you and you can trust that He’s got you and will work everything out.

Reading List: October 2017

Sacred Marriage by Gary Chapmen

This is a great book for married, engaged or single. It has great foundational advice for how we should view marriage as Christians and how it is really all about our relationship with Christ. What does it mean to love another person when it’s hard? Are we willing to do that? Are we seeking to serve others when we don’t feel like it? Your spouse will be your closest neighbor, and someone who will on occasion frustrate or annoy you. What does it mean to love and serve and forgive and overlook faults? Are you practicing that now as a single person? Marriage builds your character in a way that only a very close, intimate relationship can, and it doesn’t come naturally. We practice with our parents and siblings and roommates. We practice by serving the church or others where there are needs – especially when it’s not easy or convenient. We practice by being open with others, sharing when we need encouragement, listening to correction. In all these things we are growing to be more like Christ – which is the ultimate goal of every Christian. God calls us to be faithful wherever we are, single or married, working in a business office, on the mission field, or at home. Marriage is to be sacred, because it belongs to God first and He must always be our first love.

Hitler’s Cross by Erwin Lutzer

On occasion I come a across a book that I believe every Christian should read. This I think is one of those books. Not only is it a fascinating account of how Hitler was impacted by and devoted to the occult and how this shaped his worldview, not only does it show us how he deceived and won over the church in Germany, but it’s a lesson for every Christian. Who is your god? Is it really God Himself, or is in the church as an institution, or is it the political party you support, or a person you think will “fix” societies problems. The people in Germany were in desperately bad economy after World War 1. They had been humiliated as a nation and longed to see their nation become strong and prosperous once again. Most Germans were passionate patriots, their country was everything to them. Even among the Christians the church and the state had equal attention and importance. Nationalism was pushed more and more, to the point where Christians were being taught that serving God meant serving their nation – no matter what. When Hitler first took over he did a lot of amazing things for the economy and for winning back of German pride. It’s no wonder everyone loved him, not to mention the fact that he had a rather frightening ability to win people over. As he moved to “befriend” the church but slowly take authority over it, many saw him as their “savior” who would deliver them from their humiliation and make their nation great again. Nationalism was more important than the Gospel – a Gospel that tells us we should not seek human glory but humble ourselves before God. A Gospel that tells us to love others and protect the weak. The church had already been leaning towards anti-Semitism – many liberal leaders were teaching that the Jews should be judged for their rejection of Christ. Thus, when Hitler started his campaign against the Jews, many “Christians” went along with it. The church had at best become weak, at worst apostate. Many in the church were not Christians, and many who were were not willing to choose God over the State. In reality, they were not willing to suffer. The books does tell us about some who did speak out for the truth, and while they did suffer, their faith was proven genuine and they were rewarded in Heaven. In the end, everyone suffered. Germany lost the war, their cities were bombed, many were killed. The only ones who really “won” were those who were willing to stand up for the truth, even if they lost their lives in the process.

This book was rather convicting. What do we Christians in America worship? Are we more caught up with “saving” politics or the nation than we are about honoring God and seeing individual’s saved? Of course we want America to have revival, to get back to her Christian roots, but this goal must never become primary. Our patriotism must be subject to Christ. No politician can save or reform America. God may use a leader, but it’s more likely that He has a different plan. Much of the church in America, like Germany, is liberal. It’s more concerned with society and politics than it is about the Gospel. The story of the fall of the Church under Hitler is a warning to us all. You should definitely read this book!

 Mike and I also just finished listening to the entire The Lord of the Rings trilogy on audio, which was fun!

Currently Reading:

I’m reading a book for with ladies from my church by Kevin DeYoung (Taking God at His Word), but haven’t decided what else to read next.

I’m Not Enough For My Husband

Don’t let the title of this worry you… my relationship with my husband is great. Actually, it’s wonderful. He’s incredibly sweet and thoughtful and loves me to pieces. But I’ve realized more fully the truth of something I heard/read before I got married, and that is that your spouse can’t fully satisfy you. Not really.

Don’t get me wrong, I find a whole lot of satisfaction in my husband (and vice versa), but our hearts were not designed to be fully satisfied in another person, they were designed to be satisfied in God. When he’s feeling discouraged or anxious I can encourage him, I can speak truth to him and love him, but ultimately his heart can only be brought to peace through his relationship with God. The same goes with me. When I’m struggling he is an amazing gift of God to me in that he listens and encourages and loves on me, but again, I can only really find peace and lasting comfort when I seek it from God Himself. It reminds me of this quote from Elisabeth Elliot: “Our hearts are lonely till they rest in Him who made us for Himself.” (The Path of Loneliness, p. 90). How many of us have been standing in a group of people, friends even, and still felt lonely? How many husbands or wives have lain next to their spouse and still felt like something was missing? Our culture speaks about finding “the one” or the person that “completes” you. The problem is that our hearts were never made to be completed by another person. We need relationship and fellowship with others, it’s true. And God gave the gifts of friendship and marriage to bless and help us in so many ways. But as much of a blessing as my husband is, he can’t forgive the sin I’ve committed or give me the strength I need to endure the struggle sin often causes in our lives. As much as I love my husband, even he is not enough to motivate me towards holiness all the time. Only Jesus can do that. Only Jesus can forgive me of my sin and change me. Only He knows the deepest recesses of my heart and is able to redeem my struggles and failures.

Don’t look for something in the world or another person to complete you, to give you what you need to change or be happy. You’re seeking something only God can give you somewhere else… that’s idolatry. It’s been said that people are wonderful gifts, but terrible gods. They can’t deliver what we are looking for and you’re only going to be disappointed. My husband isn’t perfect. He’s hurt my feelings and disappointed me. He needs Jesus just as much as I do so how I can look to him to fix me? Jesus has redeemed me with His own blood… He is the One who loves me more than my husband ever could, and He is the One who completes me and fully satisfies my heart.

I’m not enough for my husband, and he’s not enough for me, but that’s OK. God is enough for both of us.