Sunday morning we go to church. Church is very important to us for various reasons. It’s important enough to be there weekly, to be on time, and for our kids to learn to behave/sit still so they are learning/participating and not being distracting to others.
Currently, my husband is teaching the adult Sunday School class at our church so we have to be leaving the driveway at 8:45 AM (and can’t be late!). Our kids (currently) have just turned 5, 3 and 1. Two years ago we lived down the street from church, so I stayed home with two littles ones while Mike went early to (again) teach Sunday School, and I got myself, a toddler and a baby ready and up to church by myself. So I have figured out a good routine to 1) make Sunday morning (mostly) stress-free and 2) get us to church on time! (I say mostly because as we all know, the unexpected happens with kids and they don't always wake up on the "right" side of the bed!) At the end I’m also going to share some tips for being in church with little ones and how to make that less stressful (and less distracting for others).
The #1 tip I’m going to give you for a stress-free Sunday morning is this: Prep Saturday night! I don’t think I can emphasize enough how important this is! It’s so important that I do not make plans Saturday evening if I can help it. You might not think there’s much to prep, but I’ll bet you’re running around Sunday morning before church doing at least most of these things. Doing all this Saturday evening, means (you guessed it) you don’t have to do it Sunday morning (AND you don’t have a messy house to make it feel more stressful). So here's my general Saturday evening routine:
1. Clean up: After dinner, the kids play (with Daddy or by themselves) and I clean up after dinner. I do the dishes, wipe counters (etc.), pick up our kitchen/living area (it’s all one room in our very small apartment) and vacuum. Having a clean house reduces stress over all, and means I have less to do late at night/in the morning…. Or later on Sunday for that matter!
2. Bathe kids. Around 7:15 is bath time for the kids. I wash their hair and then let them play for a while while I finish cleaning or move on to the next thing.
3. Pre-pack diaper bag. Diapers, extra clothes (for the baby at least), snacks, water bottle are the usual things I have to refill/check. Sometimes the diaper bag needs a quick cleaning out so I’ll do that too if needed.
4. Prep kids’ room so it’s ready for bed. I basically do this every night if it’s not already picked up… just a quick clean-up so it’s not a mess. Then I close the curtains and get their pj’s out.
5. Pick out clothes for Sunday. I will pick out the kid’s clothes and have them either laid out or at least obviously set-apart in case Daddy is the one to dress them. I also decide what I am going to wear as well (because I don’t want to waste time figuring that out in the morning).
5. By 8 the kids are out of bath and having a snack and I’m nursing the baby and getting him ready for bed. He goes down at 8:30. Then the kids have Bible Time with Daddy, brush teeth and go to bed at 9.
Sunday Morning Routine
We have a very simple and quick morning routine (an hour to an hour and 15 minutes is all we get):
Younger two kids are usually up around 7:30/7:45, which is when we usually get up as well. I take a shower and get dressed. Then I fix my breakfast and (try and) get kids to eat (3-year-old doesn’t like to eat breakfast usually – which is why I always have extra snacks packed for the car). My 5-year-old (Keller) usually sleeps late so I’ll often just bring him something to eat in the car… it’s wayyyy easier than waking him and trying to get him to eat. I’ll eat breakfast and do my hair, then do my daughter’s hair. I dress the baby while my husband helps Keller. Then we grab the diaper bag and Church activity bag (more on that below) and we’re out the door. The only extra things I grab are my phone and personal water bottle. (I usually do my make-up in the car since I don’t use a lot so that also saves time.)
If we got up earlier we could have more time for kids to eat, etc. but kids (and Mom and Dad too!) like to sleep later, and so this works for us. My biggest tip here is to figure out what time you need to leave and work backwards. Also, leave yourself 10 more minutes than you think you’ll need. As you get into a routine it may shorten, but when you’re first working on a routine you need to allow extra time (especially when you have little ones who unexpectedly will have a diaper blow-out or something). It might take some time to figure out your routine (and how much time you need) but you’ll get it! It’s worth it to have less stress and to be able to get to church on time!
2024 Update: Currently, we are 40 minutes from the church my husband now pastors. We have to be heading out the door at 7:30am. Our kids aren't big breakfast eaters so they get big reusable applesauce pouches in the car. I take my shower the night before now and we all get ready in less than an hour!
Tips for a less-stressful church experience with kids:
Work on sitting quietly at home: We didn’t start this till fairly recently, but when we have our evening “Bible Time” the two older ones are expected to sit quietly and listen. We will evolve this as time goes on and expand the time and our expectations for them. Kids can sit longer than you think. I remember being surprised when my son first sat through an entire prayer meeting (about 30 minutes) with zero issues (and he’s a very busy child)! I realized he could do a lot more than I thought he could! However, it is not fair to expect your kids to sit quietly at church if you do not practice at home.
Church Activity Bag: (or box or whatever!) This a bag that is ONLY for church with quiet toys, fidget toys, sticker books, books, coloring books, etc. Basically, whatever would help your particular child(ren) sit more quietly. This gives your kids something to do during the service if they get bored. We also try not to let them use the Activity Bag right away – ideally not until after the singing so they can participate in that. Kids do not “need” any kind of toys/coloring things during a service (or even during a sermon) because they can learn to sit quietly, but it’s an option, and a nice one especially when they are young.
If potty trained, take them to the bathroom BEFORE the service starts. This is easy to forget but it will hopefully eliminate the need for them to go during the service. This is a good general habit for adults as well... Valuing being in church means you think about even simple things like this so you’re not missing part of the service or being a distraction to others.
Sit in the Back: Have you ever sat behind a child in church who was fidgeting, moving a lot, and/or misbehaving? If so, you know why it’s respectful to sit near the back with your kids. If your kids are young, are still learning to sit still, and at an age where you need to be prepared to correct (or discipline) them during the service, it’s easiest and less stressful for you (not to mention much less distracting to others) if you sit in the back (or at least on the side/near an exit). I mean, full disclosure: we have on several occasions had to take a kid quickly out of church who was misbehaving…and loudly (anyone else???). So I was pretty glad we weren’t sitting up front! Valuing church means also helping others to not be distracted if you can help it. Sometimes it can’t be helped of course, and it is also important that we understand that kids make noise… and we shouldn’t segregate families or children because they can’t sit quietly like adults can. However, you can still do your part to help others be less distracted by sitting in the back with your little ones until they are at an age/stage where they can sit quietly. This is just generally respectful to others. And this will make church less stressful for you as well!
I’ll add we have a general rule of no snacks in church. We haven’t always done this, but realized it was pretty distracting to others. Now my kids get snacks on the way to church (and right now they can have some during the Sunday School hour since there is no kids class), but once we’re in the sanctuary there’s no more snacks. This eliminates 1) them asking for snacks, 2) snack noises, 3) mess. The only exception to this is the baby who sometimes gets those little dissolvable baby snacks to help him be quiet (but make sure they are not the ones in loud packaging!). (Obviously nursing a baby doesn’t count either.)
