Mama's Tips for a Stress-Free Sunday Morning (updated)

 A few years ago, I wrote a similar post HERE, but as we now have another kid as well as one with an autism diagnosis, plus we've moved, our routine is a bit different now. This post will probably be most helpful to you if you have 3+ younger kids (or have special needs), but if that's you, I get you girl! 

As Christians, attending Church should be a priority. It’s important enough to be there weekly, to be on time, and for our kids to learn to behave/sit still so they are learning/participating and not being distracting to others. In our case, my husband also happens to be the pastor, which means not only do I have no help during the service, but I also have little to no help Saturday night or Sunday morning with the kids. This means I have to have a good routine for getting off to church Sunday morning, not just on time and not stressed, but I'm also seeking to pave the way to a relaxing Sunday afternoon. This can be challenging, because as I'm sure you know with kids - stuff happens! As of this writing, our kids are 8, 6, almost 4 (this one has autism and is non-verbal) and 15 months. We usually need to be at church by 8:15 but we are only 5 minutes away.

The #1 tip I’m going to give you for a stress-free Sunday morning is this: Train your kids to obey. You can do all the helps below, but if you're kids are not trained to be obedient, helpful and cooperative, none of it is going to be very effective. Consistent training and discipline are needed to teach obedience, good listening and helpfulness. Obedient kids = less stress.

 

Tip #2: Prep Saturday night! I don’t think I can emphasize enough how important this is! It’s so important that I do not make plans Saturday evening if I can help it. You might not think there’s much to prep, but I’ll bet you’re running around Sunday morning before church doing at least most of these things, or if you don't, then you're coming home to a messy house. Doing all this Saturday evening, means (you guessed it) you don’t have to do it Sunday morning (AND you don’t have a messy house to make it feel more stressful). So here's my general Saturday evening routine:

1. Dinner & Clean up: After dinner, the kids play and I clean up after dinner. I do the dishes, wipe counters (etc.), then I have the kids pick up our living room of toys and I vacuum the main areas of the house. Having a clean house reduces stress over all, and means I have less to do late at night/in the morning…. Or later on Sunday!

2. Bathe kids. Around 7:00 is bath/shower time for the kids. The younger two I have to wash their hair and then let them play for a while while I finish cleaning or move on to the next thing.

3. Pre-pack diaper bag. Diapers, extra clothes (for the baby at least), snacks for younger ones, water bottle are the usual things I have to refill/check. Sometimes the diaper bag needs a quick cleaning out so I’ll do that too if needed.

4. Prep kids’ room so it’s ready for bed. The older two have a routine where they clean their room 2-3 times a week so this is basically just making sure it's not a mess, close the curtains, get two younger ones' diapers & pj’s ready, etc.

5. Pick out clothes for Sunday. I usually do this, but it's not something that takes very long so sometimes I won't do it for all the kids. I usually also decide what I am going to wear as well (because I don’t want to waste time figuring that out in the morning). BUT -  don't forget their SHOES!!!! Shoes love to get lost and I can't tell you how many times I've been ready to go and we can't find a shoe! So I usually try to make sure I know where their shoes are and that they are ready for the morning. 

5. By 7:30/7:45 the kids are in their pj's and having a snack. I let them watch a little DannyGO while I take a quick shower, then they brush their teeth and are all in bed by 9 (although my youngest will often be ready to go down by 8:30 and my oldest will sit up and read a little before going to bed). 

6. I finish any straightening up etc. and get myself ready for bed.  

 

Sunday Morning Routine

We have a very simple and quick morning routine:

The youngest is often up early, but if not I'm up by 7:15. I get myself ready, fix my breakfast and at least feed the two younger kids breakfast (my older two are never hungry until mid-morning and I have given up trying to make them eat early). I have to wake up my oldest around 7:45 but everyone else is usually already up. I oversee older two dressing and get younger two dressed (sometimes if Daddy is not last-minute prepping he helps here) and do my daughter’s hair. Then we grab the diaper bag, put shoes on 4-year-old and get older two to put on their shoes and we’re out the door by 8:10. 

Let's make this personal for you: My biggest tip here is to figure out what time you need to leave and work backwards. Also, at least for starters, leave yourself 10 more minutes than you think you’ll need. As you get into a routine it may shorten, but when you’re first working on a routine you need to allow extra time (especially when you have little ones who unexpectedly will have a diaper blow-out or something). It might take some time to figure out your routine (and how much time you need) but you’ll get it! It’s worth it to have less stress and to be able to get to church on time! 

It's also helpful to know your kids... for example, my oldest is S-L-O-W. He's a slow waker, gets easily distracted, etc. I have to be on top of him to make sure he's up, getting dressed, getting his shoes on, etc. Knowing weaknesses your kids have can help you be more accommodating (but also remind you to work on them!). Having an autistic kiddo also means I have to plan differently - in some ways I have two toddlers. Thankfully, he's a fairly easy-going kiddo and doesn't give us trouble with transitions, etc. but he requires more time and sensory engagement than typical kids his age, we still have meltdowns on occasion and with him still being non-verbal communication can be hard. 

 

Bonus tips for a less-stressful church experience with kids:

-Work on sitting quietly at home: This comes back again to training obedience. Our older two have an evening “Bible Time” with Daddy and they expected to sit quietly and listen. I sit in sometimes with the younger ones so they can try and learn to follow along/sit but it's pretty impossible for our autistic kiddo right now. Kids can sit longer than you think. Our 6 and 8 year old can sit through a church service with very little intervention. However, it is not fair to expect your kids to sit quietly at church if you do not practice at home.

-Church Activity Bag: (or box or whatever!) This a bag that is ONLY for church with quiet toys, fidget toys, sticker books, books, coloring books, etc. Basically, whatever would help your particular child(ren) sit more quietly. This gives your kids something to do during the service if they get bored. We also try not to let them use the Activity Bag right away – ideally not until after the singing so they can participate in that. It is true that kids do not “need” any kind of toys/coloring things during a service (or even during a sermon) because they can learn to sit quietly, but it’s an option, and a nice one especially when they are young.

-If potty trained, take them to the bathroom BEFORE the service starts. This is easy to forget but it will hopefully eliminate the need for them to go during the service. This is a good general habit for adults as well... Valuing being in church means you think about even simple things like this so you’re not missing part of the service or being a distraction to others.

-Sit in the Back: Have you ever sat behind a child in church who was fidgeting, moving a lot, and/or misbehaving? Maybe you sometimes have a baby who likes to wave to everyone behind you (been there lol!). If so, you know why it’s respectful to sit near the back with your kids. If your kids are young, are still learning to sit still, and at an age where you need to be prepared to correct (or discipline) them during the service, it’s easiest and less stressful for you (not to mention much less distracting to others) if you sit in the back (or at least on the side/near an exit). I mean, full disclosure: we have on several occasions had to take a kid quickly out of church who was misbehaving…and loudly (anyone else???). So I was pretty glad we weren’t sitting up front! Valuing church means also helping others to not be distracted if you can help it. Sometimes it can’t be helped of course, and it is also important that we understand that kids make noise… and we shouldn’t segregate families or children just because they can’t sit quietly like adults can. However, you can still do your part to help others be less distracted by sitting in the back with your little ones until they are at an age/stage where they can sit quietly. This is just generally respectful to others. And this will make church less stressful for you as well!  

I’ll add we have a general rule of no snacks in church. My older two will eat a little snack before going upstairs, and my younger two are usually in the nursery so they get snacks there. But having this rule eliminates 1) them asking for snacks, 2) snack noises, 3) mess. The only exception to this is toddlers or obviously nursing babies.