Book Review: Devotedly, The Letters & Love Story of Jim & Elisabeth Elliot

Devotedly, - The Personal Letters and Love Story of Jim & Elisabeth Elliot, complied and written by their daughter Valarie Elliot Shepard.

Jim & Elisabeth Elliot are two of my heroes of the faith. I have been so blessed by their lives, sacrifice and story through the writings of Elisabeth. Their lives/her books have impacted me more than anyone or anything else (besides God and the Bible of course). Needless to say, I was SO excited when I heard about this book! Here their only child Valarie publishes never-before seen letters and journal entries of Jim & Elisabeth from the time they first became friends at Wheaton College in 1947, through their long-awaited wedding in 1953, and closes with them as a happy family of three at Valerie's birth in 1955.

Can God be trusted to write the story of our lives? Even more so, can He be trusted with the pen when it comes to our desire for love and marriage and family? The story of Jim and Elisabeth shows us that YES, He absolutely can! In their story there is struggles with singleness, there is loving someone and yet not feeling God's leading to pursue marriage, there is SO much waiting and patience.... but there is a beauty that is beyond what some of us have ever witnessed. Their story is one of faith, hope and true love. Not the fairy-tale, whirlwind love you see in the movies... this is a deep, eternal and holy love. All loves stories are different and we shouldn't compare too much - my husband and I had more of a whirlwind/fast relationship (only 9 months between when we met and when we got married). But this is a beautiful testimony to what happens when two people are fully surrendered to God and willing to wait on Him rather than pursue their own desires. It will be sure to bless and encourage your heart as you seek to pursue and wait on the Lord for the desires of your heart.

There were so many beautiful quotes, as well as poetry written by both Jim and Elisabeth (let me tell you, Jim was an eloquent writer!) it's hard to pull out just a few quotes for you.

Jim and Elisabeth dealt with a lot of people expressing "concern" or criticizing their relationship (they loved each other but were not in a formal relationship). But Valarie writes, "As long as God's will was uppermost in each of their hearts, they were under no obligation to explain themselves to anyone or give out the details of their prayer life and relationship dynamics." (p. 111)

"... the way for [Elisabeth] to love [Jim] best and most appropriately - most Biblically, she determined - was by more and more loving the Lord Jesus." (p. 47)

This was Valarie's favorite quote from her father, from a journal entry on October 28 1948: "Prayed a strange prayer today. I covenanted with my Rather that He would either do two things - either glorify Himself to the utmost in me, or slay me. By His grace I shall not have His second best. He heard me, I believe, so that now I have nothing to look forward to but a life of sacrificial sonship (that's how my Savior was glorified, my soul) or heaven soon. Perhaps tomorrow. What a prospect!" (p. 31)

And this is probably my favorite from the book:

"I can say, without any risk of overstating, much of my own decision to stay pure until marriage came from my mother's joy in telling me about their marriage, and about her and my father's determination to keep their promises to God during this time in their lives. They each ached for each other, as all lovers do. But as the woman, she understood well that she, even more than my dad, was the one in greater control over how much leeway they allowed themselves in touch and enticement. There is much wisdom on display here, amid much tension. Be inspired by it. This is an actual demonstration of God wanting His children's best and of His children believing - despite their passion, despite their feelings - that nothing, nothing, offers any substitute. Times may be different today, but this truth is not. And never will be." (p. 197, italics hers, bold added)

Be inspired brothers and sisters! Be inspired to live a life fully surrendered to God.

A Newly-Married Girl’s Thoughts on Singleness & Contentment

I know.

If you’re single and reading this you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking “what does she know, she’s married now!”

I know, because I’ve totally thought that! I really do totally understand and in no way wish to minimize how you feel because I remember feeling a very similar way. And I hope this is encouraging!

I got married about 2 weeks ago at the age of 32. It was a pretty long wait. I say “long” because it was, (although I know other people who have gotten married a lot younger and say it was a long wait…  I really don’t think you’re allowed to say it was long until you’re at least late 20’s, but it still seemed long to them I'm sure). I also say “pretty" long because I have friends who are the same age as me or are older and are still hoping to be married. I greatly admire and respect them for how they’ve sought to wait on the Lord even in their deep desire to be married. And I know many people who suffer in other ways that I haven't... how I admire their faith and trust in God in the midst of so much difficulty!

Being married now and looking back, it’s true, singleness is really hard (and if you’ve read my blog you know just how challenging it’s been for me personally). But, it also had a whole LOT of sweetness. I had many blessings and experiences while single that I wouldn't have had if I'd been married.

But yes, I love being married. I love being with my wonderful husband who’s my best friend. But in all honesty I do remember thinking at one point before we were married “do I really want to do this?” ‘cause when you get married, you’re not your own anymore. All my money, all my free time (all my time pretty much), things like how much I slept in, how clean I kept my room, what I wanted to eat for dinner or buy at the grocery store – all these decisions would no longer me mine to make as I pleased. There was someone else to consider, a living breathing person with feelings (and good sense) living with me to make decisions with and to submit my desires to.

Hello marriage. Goodbye independence.

Is it worth it? YES, absolutely. But I’m just saying that it IS a sacrifice. And I’m saying, if you’re single, don’t take it for granted. Elisabeth Elliot wrote a lot about how singleness is a gift… and she experienced the hardship and the joys of it. I struggled to believe this as a single person, but I re-read 1 Corinthians 7 (where Paul talks about how single people are free to serve the Lord) recently as a married woman and it struck me in a new way. Truly I was much more distracted now; I had a husband to focus on and please. Before I could devote myself to God and to His people and I realized in a deeper way what a great gift that is! To be free and unhindered to serve, give, love… as a single person, I was a great gift to the Church! There are so many ways that I was able to serve that at the time didn’t seem important, certainly not exciting. But looking back and seeing all that God’s done in and through me it’s pretty neat! In my 12+years being a single adult I got to do a lot of amazing things! I went to college, got training in Biblical counseling, traveled various places, I lived for 2 short periods in Germany, went to Bible School for a year, interned for an amazing ministry in Colorado, took seminary classes and then went to seminary. And that’s not to mention all the great family trips, road trips with friends, summers at a Christian camp (this was the first summer I didn't go at all and it was sad!), and many opportunities to serve in my church in ways that other people couldn’t! There were so many things that I didn’t realize till later the great gift each experience was to me and to others involved. They have made me into the person that I am today. And they have helped to shape and bless others in more ways that I even know.

I’ve learned over the years that discontentment can come at you no matter where you are in life. Just watch “Mom’s Night Out” to see that (I could seriously identify with Allyson’s feelings even though I was single and didn’t have any kids). I certainly struggled with discontentment while I was single, and at times I gave in to it. As a result there were opportunities for me that I didn’t take advantage of. Moments where I could have served, loved, given and been a blessing but I was too distracted by what I didn’t have. In a recent sermon at my church we were reminded that this sinful world is discouraging, but even in the midst of that we ought to be pursuing joy in God and living the life He’s called us to to the fullest. Singleness is hard at times, but so is marriage. Friends, LIFE is hard! But it’s also filled with so many wonderful gifts!

All this to say, don’t disregard where God has you right now. Don't end up wasting your time focusing on what you don't have and miss opportunities. He has a great purpose for your life. You are a gift to those around you. He’s given you a life to live so go live it! Enjoy every moment you can but remember that lasting joy only comes from the Giver Himself. Put Him first and then enjoy life as much as you can! 

My Soul's Delight: Finding Treasure in the Field of Suffering

"Yes, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend.” (Song of Songs 5:16)

Nearly all my life I’ve wanted to be married. Not only that, but I wanted to get married young and have a whole string of little ones to raise. Well, here I am, 31, and not a prospect in sight! This has been an area of suffering for me, and the Lord tested my devotion to Him rather severely in the recent past. But, as extremely difficult as that season was, I have come out with something so valuable, that I really would go through it all again.

I’ve been a Christian since I was 13; I fell in love with Jesus then and never really looked back. But yet there was so much deeper to go, so much more of this Lord and Savior to know and delight in. The Bible talks about God being everything we need, about Christ being more precious than any other thing. We believe this to a degree. Yet coming to the point where we really, truly believe that so that it utterly consumes us, is another matter. To love Jesus to the point where your soul nearly bubbles over with joy; to the point where you just weep with joy; to the point where truly nothing else matters, that sadly is not the experience of many.

However, it is possible. David writes in Psalm 16:11, “You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” This is not theoretical! It’s real! Yes, it’s spiritual and not physical, but that doesn’t make it any less a reality. In His presence (which really is all the time), there IS fullness of joy, there are pleasures beyond anything this world has to offer. It took a severe disappointment, a hard time of suffering for me to learn this. There may indeed be weeping for a night, but joy does come in the morning (Ps. 30:5). There is a joy and delight to be found in Jesus that comes only when everything else has been stripped away. He indeed can fill the soul with a rapture and delight that is other-worldly.

I have been reading through the Gospel of John recently and was stopped short by a passage I have read probably a hundred times. The Pharisees brought a woman caught in the act of adultery to Jesus and basically asked for His judgment. But Jesus responds by saying “let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” At this all the men just walk away. Then the passage says this:

Jesus said to her, "Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one 
condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said to her, "Neither do I 
condemn you; go and sin no more." (John 8:10-11)

To think that Christ, because of His death on the cross, does not condemn me, when He as the Creator of the universe ought to, it beyond amazing! I was nearly overwhelmed by the love of Christ! How glorious to think that He no longer condemns me! Are you amazed by this truth? If you’re not, then you know nothing or very little of God’s love. For how should one respond to such a love as this? How then shall I live? The answer is found in the last part of Jesus response: “go and sin no more”. This is more than going and trying not to sin; it’s much more than legalism. Jesus wants us to delight in Him! He wants us to love Him so freely, so unhindered, because it’s also there that we experience a greater measure if His love for us.

The other night I was in the car and a little song came on that was a love song. At first it only served as a rather painful reminder that I had no man to love me in that way, but then instantly I was reminded that I had a much better Lover. He loves me more than anyone else ever could! He wants my whole life, my whole heart, my whole devotion. This means my thought life, my spare time, my daily life stressors, my relationships with my family and others. All of it, He wants to be the center of every part of my life. Shall I resist Him? This wonderful beautiful Lover of my soul? If you do resist Him (even just in certain areas you are unwilling to fully surrender) what does that say about your response to this love? Can you really look at Christ on the cross and not give up all that you would hold dear?

Friend, Christ is all-sufficient for you! The struggle, the disappointment, the suffering you face is worth it, because on the other side you have the opportunity to know Jesus in a deeper way that you think is possible and let me tell you, it’s worth all the pain. Wait, and He will come to you, He will restore you and give you more joy than you had before. I would do it all again, I would turn away from the dreams I have for my life, and I will be content never getting married, all because He is enough . Unless the Lord so pleases and I meet a man who delights in Jesus as much as I do, there’s no way I’d give up what I’ve gained. I’m not perfect nor have I attained perfection, there will be trials yet ahead I am certain and times I will fail. But I’ve found a treasure hidden in the field of suffering, and He’s worth everything to me.

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

(from the hymn, Be Thou My Vision)

He Heals the BrokenHearted

Sometimes life breaks our heart. Maybe a person let us down, maybe hopes and dreams were dashed, maybe sickness ruined our plans, maybe death took away our loved one, whatever it might be life sometimes leaves us with wounds that can’t be fixed with a band aid. I know what it’s like to hurt, to lose, to wish that life could just be over so the pain would stop. It was amidst this deep darkness and emotional pain that someone told me, “Amelia, I know it’s hard to believe this right now, but the pain will leave. Be patient, keep holding on, God will heal you.” It was hard to believe. When you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel life is very, very discouraging. But in the midst of the storm going on inside of me, I had a rock, and His name was Jesus. Even though I didn’t understand, even though I struggled, I held on to that fragment of faith I had left.

And then God did heal me. It took over a year and a half, but God healed me. One day I suddenly realized there was no underlying sense of sadness and grief anymore. Gone was the weight that had so long pulled me down to despair. And while I still sometimes wonder “why”, I don’t doubt His goodness anymore. I cried then, but these were no longer tears of sadness, rather, tears of happiness. How faithful God had been to me! He had restored me, healed my heart even though I knew I didn’t deserve it. Surely I didn’t. I wish I could say I responded to my trial better, I wish I could say I had a joyful heart and accepted whatever God brought into my life, but I didn’t. I was angry and bitter, and there were times where I was practically pushing Him away. But you know what? He wouldn’t let me go. I was honest with God and vented my anger and bitterness, but then He would gently remind me that He was God, He was my Creator and being angry with Him was not OK. He convicted me ever so gently of my unbelief and doubt and I had to admit that I was actually sinning in my response and cry out to Him to rescue and restore me. Deep down God had placed in me a faith that would never fail and through His grace, even in my darkest times when I felt like I was at the end of my “faith” rope, even then I was given strength to hang on. I am so thankful that God’s grace is sovereign enough to keep me even when I fail and strong enough to heal us when we are broken. I love this quote from Charles Spurgeon: "God is too good to be unkind, too wise to be mistaken; and when you cannot trace His hand, you can trust His heart."  

Perhaps you are in a waiting time right now… perhaps you wonder if the healing will ever come, if you will ever “get over it”, if you will ever really feel happy again. While there are some things that God may see fit to leave us with for the rest of our lives, God does promise to heal our hearts, to strengthen our faith, to equip us to stand in the midst of difficulty. Friend, let my story encourage you – God heals the brokenhearted. He does! Let the song below encourage you…. I would often put it on repeat and listen to it over and over again. He is faithful. Hold on. He will come and He will heal your heart.  

Girls, You Deserve Better than Mr. Grey

Talk about a hot-topic issue. Why am I even writing this? There have been TONS of articles written about this already, good ones too! But still I am stirred and concerned. Some have tried to dismiss it as not a big deal. Fifty Shades of Grey is just a book, it’s just a movie. But girls, let me tell you, you deserve better than Mr. Grey.

This book and movie are fiction yes, but our minds work in crazy ways. We know in our minds that it’s fiction but yet there’s something in us that wants to believe that this portrayal of what love and relationship is is real. I mean let’s be honest girls; we want a man to want us, to desire us, to know us, to love us. As women we want to feel needed and we get a satisfaction (and feel loved) knowing that someone wants and desires us. I want that! And I’ll be honest with you, there’s a part of me that wants to drink at the well of what Mr. Grey has to offer. It looks good, it can feel so normal and “right”. Why do I have to wait when it’s offered to me right now? And why not read and watch things that allow me to feel those feelings by just relishing them in my mind? After all, I’m not actually doing anything…. Am I? Actually Proverbs tells us that as one thinks in his heart, so is he (Prov 23:7), in other words, we are what we think. Over and over Scripture admonishes us to be careful what we think. Our thinking and feeling are what drives our actions. Don’t be deceived into thinking that you can just read and watch something and it won’t affect you. The Holy Spirit says, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life” (Gal 6:7-8), and “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace" (Rom 8:5-6).

What I think and feel are not an accurate gauge for what is really right and good. While there’s nothing wrong with desiring relationship and sex (they were after all created by God) we need to look a little further. The truth is that what we really want is to satisfy ourselves, we want our desires to be fulfilled. We want a man to want us for us, not for him. We want someone to love us and to feel loved, and we are willing to give ourselves to receive affection and good feelings. We crave this so much that we are willing to sin to get what we want, and maybe we are willing to be used to have a fleeting grasp on that satisfaction that comes by being wanted, by feeling” loved”. But the truth is that first of all, that’s not love, and second of all, it will never be enough. No matter how much you pursue it, satisfaction from relationships or sex will never satisfy your deepest desires.

Where does lasting satisfaction come from? You were created by God. You are not an object to be used for a man’s pleasure; neither are you a slave to sexual desires. God created sex too, but He created it for a purpose. Satisfaction cannot be found in the “right” guy, in sexual fulfillment, in work, in your children, or in anything else on this earth! We were made for something more, we were made for someONE more. We were made for God, made to be like Him, to reflect Him, to rule the earth as princes and princesses, to be the bride of Christ Himself!

Love is not just a feeling. Love existed before humans were created, before there was sex. Love is a person and His name is Jesus. And while the truth is that we “deserve” nothing because of our sin we were still created with a purpose and we deserve better than what the Devil has to offer. Girls, you deserve better than Mr. Grey. You deserve more than temporary pleasures when you have been offered all the promises of God in Christ. Don't drink at the well of the world, when you have the river of Christ to satisfy you. You have the opportunity to be one with Christ, to be His. He did not die so that you could be a slave, He died so that you could be free. Not free to pursue your own desires (because that actually is slavery) but free to be who He intended you to be. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians, “For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again” (2 Cor 5:14-15). Don't give into the temptation to fill your mind and heart with the fleeting pleasures of sin. There are no happy endings there. We were made for something more, we were made for Him. And He is the only one who will satisfy your heart.