Should Church Elders Be Obeyed Unconditionally?

Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep 

watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be 

a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.    

–  Hebrews 13:17

Over and over in Proverbs we are exhorted to pursue, value and gain wisdom. One way we do this is by seeking counsel from those more spiritually mature. One obvious example is church leadership. In the verse quote above we have a fairly clear exhortation in fact to obey and submit to our church leadership as having authority over us. But is this obedience and submission to be unconditional? What happens if these leaders are wrong? They are, after all, human and sinners too. In comparison, wives are also told to submit to their husbands, but does this mean unconditional obedience as well?

In all things: seek wisdom

While wisdom is often found in seeking godly counsel, first and foremost it is found in the whole counsel of Scripture - through prayer and the leading of the Holy Spirit. It is there that we are reminded that, ultimately, our head and authority is Christ, and after Him then we submit ourselves to others. Submission in marriage is done by wives submitting ultimately to Christ and loving and serving our husband first and foremost as their brother in Christ (not as a master). Indeed “headship” in marriage “is only true authority to the extent that a husband is faithful to Jesus, so that he is not a ‘head’ by virtue of simply being a husband” (from the book Fractured Covenants). The same applies to church leaders. One does not automatically deserve unconditional respect and obedience simply because of the office he holds. I respect the office of the President of the United States. This does not mean I automatically respect the person holding that office or would do whatever he told me.

I will share a personal example… A number of years ago I attended a Bible/discipleship school for a semester and while there applied for an internship with a sister-ministry that was literally my “dream job”. I did not at all expect to get accepted so when I did, it appeared to be a pretty clear calling as it was a wonderful fit for my gifts and passions and I had a deep respect for the ministry, its founders, and team members. However, the pastors/elders at my then home church had some theological and personal disagreements with the school I was at and “strongly urged” me to stay home. I was confused. While I could see their reasons for concern, I did not have the same concerns about the certain points of doctrine (and at least one I disagreed with completely) and did not consider these reasons to be “reason enough” for me to not go. But I wrestled with the text above. Shouldn’t I listen to and submit to my church elders? I deeply desired to be obedient to God and submit my desires to the Lord. I responded to the elders and said that despite the fact that I disagreed with them I was willing to submit to their leadership. One thing was still holding me back, however, and that was that I hadn’t yet been able to discuss the issue with my parents as they had gone out of the country. Immediately after I sent that response, I was filled with a strong conviction that I was supposed to go. I went to my parents as soon as they returned home, told them everything and that I strongly believed I was supposed to go. They were in complete agreement and wrote my elders telling them that I was going to go with their blessing. They weren’t too happy about this, but respected my parent's authority. There did however continue to be some pressure until my parents basically told them that they were done discussing it. I interned with this wonderful ministry for 2.5 years and several years later I have no regrets, still believe I did the right thing and greatly value the time that I spent serving with this ministry. The elders at that church are wonderful people; they love the Lord and have had positive influence in my life. I learned a lot from them and I am grateful for their concern for my spiritual life. But just because someone is a church leader, or someone in spiritual authority, or even someone you respect does not mean they are always right and should be unconditionally obeyed.  

If church leaders ever demand complete and unconditional submission/obedience they are spiritually abusing their position and hurting the very people God gave them to care for and protect. Similarly, if they use their position in spiritual leadership to convince someone to submit to them on an issue that is not clear in Scripture (example: they say something like “as your pastor/elder I urge you to submit to us”) that is also dangerous. If something is not clear in Scripture all you can do is advise. You cannot “urge”. (I tend to think that this is sometimes a way of avoiding the word “command”. They are not really “commanding” you, and so they justify their pressure on you.)

You can also get Scripture to mean anything if you utilize it the right way. It’s important to remember that just because someone can quote Scripture to you does not mean that it is a right interpretation or application. If it seems like Scripture is being used as a weapon in order to convince you to submit, be wary! This is not Biblical submission.

In all things: seek Wisdom

As you are facing decisions in your life, by ALL MEANS talk to your church leaders and seek their counsel. But Pray. Seek the counsel of other people you respect and trust. Pray. Read and meditate on the Word. Did I mention pray? Above all, pray and seek the Person of Wisdom. Then, do what you believe is the right thing to do. As you seek to submit yourself to God, He promises to guide you and you can trust that He’s got you and will work everything out.