The Great Support: Josiah's Birth Story

 This last pregnancy was not an easy one. Especially upon entering the third trimester, the acid reflux, constipation, back pain and general discomfort was much MUCH more than with any of my other babies. I was getting hints from the midwife that the baby seemed on the bigger side but was trying not to think about it too much. I prayed for him to come early for these multiple reasons. There's the temptation of giving into fear as birth approaches, and I daily worked to set my mind with faith for the strength God would provide. 

                                    Inspirational collage I made for leading up to and during labor: 

I was pretty disappointed to not be planning a home birth this time. Having had the last two at home, I had a hard time looking forward to the sterile, un-homey hospital delivery and everything that came with it. But I also trusted that God had a different plan this time around and accepted it, doing what I could to plan a way to make it as cozy and homey as I could. And I was thankfully afforded a Doula through our insurance which was super nice! (If you don't want to read the details of the labor/birth you can now skip down to "God's Fingerprints".)

Earlier in the week I began feeling very nauseous - for about 2 days I was in bed most of the day and couldn't hardly even eat. Thursday I felt better, then Friday was back to normal (pregnancy "normal" anyway) and was able to eat and get some things done. I'd been having Braxon Hicks contractions on and off for weeks, but Thursday night they seemed a little more consistent/stronger. However, when I went to bed they dissipated. Again, Friday early evening they picked up and I laid down for awhile to see if they would again die down, however this time they didn't. This was my first hint that labor might be starting. I went to bed to try and get some sleep. Around 10PM I told Mike that they were fairly consistent but 12 minutes apart and to get some sleep! 

Saturday, May 10^th:

Around 3am I timed again (8 minutes) and in the middle of the contraction my water completely broke all over our bed! I got up and called the doctor and they said to come in. So, after calling Auntie Alicia to come stay with the older siblings and letting our Doula (Faith) know, I woke up Daddy and we got a few final things packed. Mike said he felt like this was the closest thing we've had to one of those movie-style trips to the hospital, as it was a half hour drive, the contractions were pretty regular at that point, and he did drive fast! We got to the hospital around 4am. Faith arrived a little behind us after we were settled in the labor room and things began picking up fairly soon after. I started laboring, and then pushing on my knees with the labor ball, but after awhile the doctor really encouraged me to move to my back at least for a bit and that actually did seem to be better and I made some more progress. The doctor was also great about coaching my pushing/breathing to be more effective. I think perhaps she at least realized at that point he was on the bigger side and this might be difficult. And man, it was…. When he was in the process of coming out a bunch more people came in the room and there was a flurry of activity, people around, pushing on me, pulling – I was so focused on pushing so hard that I didn’t have time to think much about it, but I found out afterwards that baby’s shoulder was stuck coming out (Shoulder Dystocia). Mike and the doctors could see the top of the baby's head crowning but he was not progressing. They had to do some maneuvers to help him turn a bit so he could come out. Thankfully everything they did was very effective and it was only about half a minute to get him unstuck and out he came! 

God's Fingerprints

 

Josiah David Coburn was born at 6:52 AM. They said they needed take him to the warmer right away and I said OK - That moment was a little scary for both of us but I trusted that they knew what he needed, and he was fine, just a little “stunned”. Honestly, so was I. It was all so intense. Mike called from over by the warmer “He’s crying Sweetie, do you hear him?” And then I did… the sweetest sound! They checked him over to be sure he was OK and also did a quick weight…. Mike said “Amelia, did you hear that??? 11 pounds 7 ounces!!” (He was also tall, 22 inches!) I was shocked, I couldn’t believe it! Everyone in the room was pretty amazed (and he was the talk of the ward for the next few days at least)! They brought him over to my chest and then we got to just rest. He went straight to size 1 diapers and won’t get to wear any of the newborn clothes we have, but he’s SO sweet and cuddly! 

 

I got my prayer answered that he would come early (6 days early). May 10th was also one of my first choices of a birth date (although I wouldn't have complained at all had he come earlier) - since all my other kids have easy-to-remember birth dates, this one just *had* to cooperate! 

That we ended up having a hospital birth, was another answered prayer (that we didn't even know about ahead of time). While I still wholeheartedly believe homebirth's are safe (home birth midwives are trained to deal with complications like Shoulder Dystocia - see HERE) and I think everything would have been fine, it was such a quick and difficult labor that I am ultimately grateful to have been in the hospital this time (especially since the first 24 hours after were pretty rough recovery-wise). So it was really nice to have the extra support and help afterwards. Recovery for me has and will be a little slower this time (the normal healing from birth, plus stitches and I also pulled some muscles in my back) but we're getting there! Josiah is nursing like a champ and doing well!

 

Josiah is named after the boy-king in the Bible that zealously followed the Lord and his name means “The Lord supports”. Indeed, God greatly supported me through this pregnancy and birth! David is also a kingly Biblical name and means “Beloved”. We pray the Lord would indeed support this child as he does His other beloved children and that he will follow God with all his heart. To God be the glory!

                                                   So thankful to finally be able to snuggle him!

Also thankful for this dear husband of mine, there to hold my hand through it all. 

(Reading me some Scripture here as well.)

                                                                            Going Home!!!

Liberty Hope: Our Daughter's Birth Story

Background: (If you want you can skip this section to the action below – but this part explains how we ended up choosing a homebirth!) Our firstborn’s birth didn’t go as planned. However, this being my second time around I did feel more confident about giving birth and would have liked to have done a free-standing birth center again, but unfortunately in our area there are no options for that so at the beginning of my pregnancy I was planning on giving birth at the birthing center at St. Vincent’s in Worcester. I had a few appointments with a midwife in connection with them and she was… just OK. There was still this sense of formality and protocol and not a close connection or respect for my choices that I had experienced before. I had thought on and off about how amazing it would be to do a homebirth but it wasn’t something our insurance would cover and so I resigned myself to making the best of it. Then Covid-19 happened. The office I was going to transferred me from there to the hospital (where they had covid-19 patients by the way, which I thought was insane). There wasn’t good communication about this either and the more things went on the more I knew that I really didn’t want to give birth there and wanted to look into a homebirth more. I communicated with a few different home birth midwives and found one up near my mom which actually worked out well because I actually wanted to give birth at her place since she had a nice big jacuzzi tub in her master bedroom (and our apartment didn’t have a tub at all) and if I was going to have a home birth I wanted a tub! After my second meeting/appointment with my midwife I knew I’d made the right decision. She is amazing! And despite our insurance denying our appeal to cover the cost, I was over and over again affirmed in various ways that this was the right choice. We still prayed for a faster and easier delivery this time around and I was very hopeful!

Fast forward to the end of July. It was SO hot and as I was in the last week before my due date I began trying to get things moving – especially since Liberty was so low and in a great position!

Friday, July 24: I went for two walks, and my sister tried some pressure points on my ankles.

Saturday, July 25: Went and saw a friend who did an ankle massage/pressure points with castor oil, then swam some at a lake.

Sunday, July 26: 

Afternoon: We packed everything in the car just in case, dropped Keller at my sister’s and went to my mom’s where I walked two miles on the treadmill, then the midwife gave me a tincture (I forget what that was) followed by some homemade ice cream with castor oil mixed in… it was actually pretty good! The midwife said that usually (note: “usually”) that in a few hours there would be an increase in contractions followed by a bowel movement and then things would taper off. This could repeat in a few more hours before actually labor would really kick in although sometimes it wouldn’t induce labor, in which case in the morning she would come and we’d do a second dose. 

Evening: The first few hours after that part a-typical of what was to be expected. We thought we’d have plenty of time and as we were slightly concerned about Keller sleeping away from us/keeping his auntie up (he doesn’t sleep great somewhere new) so around 7PM we decided Mike would go home and get him and stay with him for the night – and of course I would call if/when things started (and my sister would just go stay at the house with Keller). I had some mild contractions followed by a bowel movement and then nothing. I facetimed with Mike and Keller around 9PM and then tried to go to sleep but around 9:30 contractions were starting up again. At 10 I asked my mom to come keep me company and also began timing them – because they were seeming stronger and fairly close together. I was texting with the midwife on and off and she suggested taking a shower and various things to help (she thought for sure it was still just early effects from the castor oil so wasn’t worried about needing to be there yet). Nothing seemed to help. By 11 PM they were very consistently 3 minutes apart and very strong - and I was starting to get a little more concerned. Shortly after I called Mike - 11 times! His phone for some reason didn't ring even though he had set it carefully to! He very shortly after checked his phone and called me though. I wanted him to come and just be there – even though I STILL wasn’t positive I was actually in active labor. He left shortly after on the hour drive back. A little after 11:30 I spoke to the midwife and said I thought she should come and be there. Part of me still thought that maybe it was still the castor oil (and so did she), but it also felt.... different. God knew and moved me to tell them both to come. Sure enough almost right after that I moved from having contractions to actually pushing… and after a little bit I realized this was no bowel movement! I remember my mom starting to fill the tub and saying “try not to push til the midwife gets here!” – haha she was really getting worried she might have to deliver her granddaughter! I remember thinking – “Ohhh no I’m pushing!” and I think this moment is when I actually realized this baby girl was really coming VERY soon!

Monday, July 27^th: at exactly 12:15am I managed to text the midwife “think she’s coming” - I was pretty sure I could feel her head coming down. I thought of telling Mike to hurry at more than one point but literally had no time in between contractions/pushing. Thankfully the midwife had just pulled in the driveway and came running up right away. I was still sitting on the toilet at this point and the tub was almost filled/ready. Midwife checked me and quickly realized that yup she was coming and helped me move into the tub. Then Mike arrived about 12:20, as my mom was running down and bringing up the equipment from the car for the midwife so she didn’t have to leave me. "Get up there quick" she told him. About 15 minutes later, at 12:33am, Liberty Hope was born! As soon as she came out I reached down and brought her up out of the water – that was super exciting because I had kinda wanted to “catch” her myself and I DID! It was pretty amazing!

Right before she was born the midwife was having a hard time finding her heartbeat because she was so low and so did hurry the process a bit just in case. The cord was wrapped around her body twice, once around the neck - it wasn't tight around the neck or anything so it was fine, but the midwife still had to help her get those big gasps of air (was rubbing her chest pretty aggressively and gave her a few puffs in her mouth). I think it took close to a full minute til she began crying and then she was just fine! I was helping hold her during this and wasn’t really worried, I was sure she would be fine, although that minute did seem pretty long! She is still doing great! (FYI, it is VERY normal for this kind of thing to happen. The cord is often wrapped around the baby, but is not often dangerously so, and sometimes babies do take a minute or so to get their lungs clear from the amniotic fluid, again quite normal.)

I had prayed a shorter labor and wow I got it – way faster that I would have ever guessed! Really it was no more than THREE hours total! The midwife was originally going to have an assistant too.... yeah she didn't make it. It was funny though, I had imagined having this relaxing time in the tub while in earlier labor with candles and nice music… none of that happened! I had set up my oil diffuser before trying to go to sleep earlier and the Christmas lights were on but that was it! Not that I minded of course – it was very VERY intense (and honestly, I was screaming basically the entire time I was pushing) but then it was over! After about an hour she latched and sucked really well and has done great in that department ever since!

God was with us the entire journey. He knew what I and Liberty needed and got everyone there in time. It was fast and crazy but I wouldn't go back and change it for the world! Praising God for his grace, strength and this wonderful precious baby girl!

                                                   I caught her!!!! (Thanks Mom/surprise birth coach
                                                   for this picture)

                                                            Keller meeting his sister!

Why we chose her name:

This was a fairly rough pregnancy for me. For almost all of December I was not only physically not feeling well many days with fairly bad “morning” (all-day) sickness, but my hormones were crazy and I often felt depressed and anxious. Hope was something the Lord reminded me of and encouraged me with during this time. Thankfully the sickness and emotions eased, and I felt great until early April when the hormone/emotional struggles came back. And this was also about a month into the Covid-19 shutdown where I also began to be frustrated with how it was being handled. The liberty we have as American’s has always been very important to me and to see those being withheld, not to mention stripped (in various other areas as well) was very distressing to me. But the end of April the Lord began reminding me that while any freedom we have on this earth is temporal and can be so easily lost, but we have a steadfast hope in an eternal and perfect liberty in Christ where there will be no more sadness, disease or injustice. I still remember the moment the Lord pressed this name for my daughter on my heart and I wept with a sense of freedom and renewed hope. Liberty Hope! It took a little bit of time for Mike to come around about the name, although he did want me to have the lead in naming our first daughter, but it won him over too. Over and over this name has brought me so much encouragement and I trust and pray she will be a light and hope to many in this dark world.

Here is her name meaning and Bible passage it is based from:

Liberty: The state of being free - ultimately met our spiritual redemption and physical resurrection in Christ.

Hope: Steadfast confidence in a world of fear and uncertainty.

Rom 8:19-25 – “For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”

Answered Prayer: Keller’s Birth Story

I am very pleased to share that our son, Keller Michael Coburn, was born at 2:33am on Saturday May 5^th. He weighed in at 8 pounds, 7 ounces and is doing great! 

 

The title of this post may seem a bit strange after I tell you that there were a lot of prayers said before and during my labor and delivery with Keller that seemingly weren’t answered. We prayed for a “normal” delivery at the Birth Center (easy/fast would have been great too but I was happy to settle for a fairly normal one) and without complications. But the labor was very long and difficult… I was in labor for 50 hours and pushed for at least 4! Things did not go according to plan… I ended up transferring from the Birth Center to the hospital across the street (after 3 hours of pushing and still feeling strong contractions/urges to push – that was a crazy experience!) and needed the assistance of a vacuum to finally be able to get him out. They had to cut the cord right away and take him to clean him off because he’d pooped quite a bit and needed suctioning so it was about 2 minutes before I was able to hold him. I also developed pretty bad hemorrhoids which complicated my recovery on top of getting an episiotomy (although that was better than tearing which I certainly would have).  It was the most exhausting and painful experience of my life! (And my poor, sweet husband – it was very hard on him emotionally and mentally to watch me through the whole ordeal!) Needless to say, there was a lot of very discouraging and disheartening moments.

But the truth is, God DID answer all of our prayers…. He just delayed many of them and said no to a few. I don’t know why. There were multiple times God didn’t answer my prayer in the timing I was asking for – especially in the pushing stage where one prayer I prayed was “Please Lord, let this be the time he gets below the pelvic bone” (he was not progressing past that point for quite awhile). Or later with “Please let his head come out with this round!” (Again, he was crowning for awhile but I didn’t get him out until the vacuum was used.) God delayed….

Why does God delay answering prayer? Why does He say “No” to certain requests? I don’t know. But I DO know that He is good, that He did answer many prayers….

Prayers God answered:

--I have a healthy, beautiful, perfect little boy! (I cried as I wrote this!)

--I was able to deliver vaginally and not have a c-section (Oh man, I could not imagine having to have gone through all that labor and then have a c-section & recovery on top of everything else!) Honestly, there were several moments where I thought “just take him out, I can’t do this anymore,” but afterwards, I was/am SO grateful to have avoided it!

--I had amazing midwives and nurses helping me along the way, and a great doctor at the hospital who pushed me through (and provided assistance with the vacuum) and helped me avoid the c-section. One nurse from the birth center who came over to the hospital didn’t have to stay but she did until he was born – she wanted to see it through. Everyone was so encouraging through the whole process and said that I did “just amazing”! (Apparently on my record more than one of them said I was “heroic”…  To God be the glory of course, but I do have to say, I was pretty amazing to do all that!)

--My husband was a rock through the whole thing! I’m so thankful for his encouragement and strength through the whole ordeal. And he’s already an amazing dad!

--God DID give me strength – I did it! I’m thankful God gave me the ability and wisdom to prepare my body ahead of time (I worked hard at eating healthy and exercising all through my pregnancy) and that I was strong and fit to endure the process.

All in all, while I certainly hope I never have to go through that long and difficult a process again, I am so grateful for God’s provision, grace and strength. Also, thankful for many family and friends praying before, during and since Keller’s birth.

Thank you, Lord, for my precious bundle of joy! (More pictures will come soon!)

A Newly-Married Girl’s Thoughts on Singleness & Contentment

I know.

If you’re single and reading this you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking “what does she know, she’s married now!”

I know, because I’ve totally thought that! I really do totally understand and in no way wish to minimize how you feel because I remember feeling a very similar way. And I hope this is encouraging!

I got married about 2 weeks ago at the age of 32. It was a pretty long wait. I say “long” because it was, (although I know other people who have gotten married a lot younger and say it was a long wait…  I really don’t think you’re allowed to say it was long until you’re at least late 20’s, but it still seemed long to them I'm sure). I also say “pretty" long because I have friends who are the same age as me or are older and are still hoping to be married. I greatly admire and respect them for how they’ve sought to wait on the Lord even in their deep desire to be married. And I know many people who suffer in other ways that I haven't... how I admire their faith and trust in God in the midst of so much difficulty!

Being married now and looking back, it’s true, singleness is really hard (and if you’ve read my blog you know just how challenging it’s been for me personally). But, it also had a whole LOT of sweetness. I had many blessings and experiences while single that I wouldn't have had if I'd been married.

But yes, I love being married. I love being with my wonderful husband who’s my best friend. But in all honesty I do remember thinking at one point before we were married “do I really want to do this?” ‘cause when you get married, you’re not your own anymore. All my money, all my free time (all my time pretty much), things like how much I slept in, how clean I kept my room, what I wanted to eat for dinner or buy at the grocery store – all these decisions would no longer me mine to make as I pleased. There was someone else to consider, a living breathing person with feelings (and good sense) living with me to make decisions with and to submit my desires to.

Hello marriage. Goodbye independence.

Is it worth it? YES, absolutely. But I’m just saying that it IS a sacrifice. And I’m saying, if you’re single, don’t take it for granted. Elisabeth Elliot wrote a lot about how singleness is a gift… and she experienced the hardship and the joys of it. I struggled to believe this as a single person, but I re-read 1 Corinthians 7 (where Paul talks about how single people are free to serve the Lord) recently as a married woman and it struck me in a new way. Truly I was much more distracted now; I had a husband to focus on and please. Before I could devote myself to God and to His people and I realized in a deeper way what a great gift that is! To be free and unhindered to serve, give, love… as a single person, I was a great gift to the Church! There are so many ways that I was able to serve that at the time didn’t seem important, certainly not exciting. But looking back and seeing all that God’s done in and through me it’s pretty neat! In my 12+years being a single adult I got to do a lot of amazing things! I went to college, got training in Biblical counseling, traveled various places, I lived for 2 short periods in Germany, went to Bible School for a year, interned for an amazing ministry in Colorado, took seminary classes and then went to seminary. And that’s not to mention all the great family trips, road trips with friends, summers at a Christian camp (this was the first summer I didn't go at all and it was sad!), and many opportunities to serve in my church in ways that other people couldn’t! There were so many things that I didn’t realize till later the great gift each experience was to me and to others involved. They have made me into the person that I am today. And they have helped to shape and bless others in more ways that I even know.

I’ve learned over the years that discontentment can come at you no matter where you are in life. Just watch “Mom’s Night Out” to see that (I could seriously identify with Allyson’s feelings even though I was single and didn’t have any kids). I certainly struggled with discontentment while I was single, and at times I gave in to it. As a result there were opportunities for me that I didn’t take advantage of. Moments where I could have served, loved, given and been a blessing but I was too distracted by what I didn’t have. In a recent sermon at my church we were reminded that this sinful world is discouraging, but even in the midst of that we ought to be pursuing joy in God and living the life He’s called us to to the fullest. Singleness is hard at times, but so is marriage. Friends, LIFE is hard! But it’s also filled with so many wonderful gifts!

All this to say, don’t disregard where God has you right now. Don't end up wasting your time focusing on what you don't have and miss opportunities. He has a great purpose for your life. You are a gift to those around you. He’s given you a life to live so go live it! Enjoy every moment you can but remember that lasting joy only comes from the Giver Himself. Put Him first and then enjoy life as much as you can!