Liberty Hope: Our Daughter's Birth Story

Background: (If you want you can skip this section to the action below – but this part explains how we ended up choosing a homebirth!) Our firstborn’s birth didn’t go as planned. However, this being my second time around I did feel more confident about giving birth and would have liked to have done a free-standing birth center again, but unfortunately in our area there are no options for that so at the beginning of my pregnancy I was planning on giving birth at the birthing center at St. Vincent’s in Worcester. I had a few appointments with a midwife in connection with them and she was… just OK. There was still this sense of formality and protocol and not a close connection or respect for my choices that I had experienced before. I had thought on and off about how amazing it would be to do a homebirth but it wasn’t something our insurance would cover and so I resigned myself to making the best of it. Then Covid-19 happened. The office I was going to transferred me from there to the hospital (where they had covid-19 patients by the way, which I thought was insane). There wasn’t good communication about this either and the more things went on the more I knew that I really didn’t want to give birth there and wanted to look into a homebirth more. I communicated with a few different home birth midwives and found one up near my mom which actually worked out well because I actually wanted to give birth at her place since she had a nice big jacuzzi tub in her master bedroom (and our apartment didn’t have a tub at all) and if I was going to have a home birth I wanted a tub! After my second meeting/appointment with my midwife I knew I’d made the right decision. She is amazing! And despite our insurance denying our appeal to cover the cost, I was over and over again affirmed in various ways that this was the right choice. We still prayed for a faster and easier delivery this time around and I was very hopeful!

Fast forward to the end of July. It was SO hot and as I was in the last week before my due date I began trying to get things moving – especially since Liberty was so low and in a great position!

Friday, July 24: I went for two walks, and my sister tried some pressure points on my ankles.

Saturday, July 25: Went and saw a friend who did an ankle massage/pressure points with castor oil, then swam some at a lake.

Sunday, July 26: 

Afternoon: We packed everything in the car just in case, dropped Keller at my sister’s and went to my mom’s where I walked two miles on the treadmill, then the midwife gave me a tincture (I forget what that was) followed by some homemade ice cream with castor oil mixed in… it was actually pretty good! The midwife said that usually (note: “usually”) that in a few hours there would be an increase in contractions followed by a bowel movement and then things would taper off. This could repeat in a few more hours before actually labor would really kick in although sometimes it wouldn’t induce labor, in which case in the morning she would come and we’d do a second dose. 

Evening: The first few hours after that part a-typical of what was to be expected. We thought we’d have plenty of time and as we were slightly concerned about Keller sleeping away from us/keeping his auntie up (he doesn’t sleep great somewhere new) so around 7PM we decided Mike would go home and get him and stay with him for the night – and of course I would call if/when things started (and my sister would just go stay at the house with Keller). I had some mild contractions followed by a bowel movement and then nothing. I facetimed with Mike and Keller around 9PM and then tried to go to sleep but around 9:30 contractions were starting up again. At 10 I asked my mom to come keep me company and also began timing them – because they were seeming stronger and fairly close together. I was texting with the midwife on and off and she suggested taking a shower and various things to help (she thought for sure it was still just early effects from the castor oil so wasn’t worried about needing to be there yet). Nothing seemed to help. By 11 PM they were very consistently 3 minutes apart and very strong - and I was starting to get a little more concerned. Shortly after I called Mike - 11 times! His phone for some reason didn't ring even though he had set it carefully to! He very shortly after checked his phone and called me though. I wanted him to come and just be there – even though I STILL wasn’t positive I was actually in active labor. He left shortly after on the hour drive back. A little after 11:30 I spoke to the midwife and said I thought she should come and be there. Part of me still thought that maybe it was still the castor oil (and so did she), but it also felt.... different. God knew and moved me to tell them both to come. Sure enough almost right after that I moved from having contractions to actually pushing… and after a little bit I realized this was no bowel movement! I remember my mom starting to fill the tub and saying “try not to push til the midwife gets here!” – haha she was really getting worried she might have to deliver her granddaughter! I remember thinking – “Ohhh no I’m pushing!” and I think this moment is when I actually realized this baby girl was really coming VERY soon!

Monday, July 27^th: at exactly 12:15am I managed to text the midwife “think she’s coming” - I was pretty sure I could feel her head coming down. I thought of telling Mike to hurry at more than one point but literally had no time in between contractions/pushing. Thankfully the midwife had just pulled in the driveway and came running up right away. I was still sitting on the toilet at this point and the tub was almost filled/ready. Midwife checked me and quickly realized that yup she was coming and helped me move into the tub. Then Mike arrived about 12:20, as my mom was running down and bringing up the equipment from the car for the midwife so she didn’t have to leave me. "Get up there quick" she told him. About 15 minutes later, at 12:33am, Liberty Hope was born! As soon as she came out I reached down and brought her up out of the water – that was super exciting because I had kinda wanted to “catch” her myself and I DID! It was pretty amazing!

Right before she was born the midwife was having a hard time finding her heartbeat because she was so low and so did hurry the process a bit just in case. The cord was wrapped around her body twice, once around the neck - it wasn't tight around the neck or anything so it was fine, but the midwife still had to help her get those big gasps of air (was rubbing her chest pretty aggressively and gave her a few puffs in her mouth). I think it took close to a full minute til she began crying and then she was just fine! I was helping hold her during this and wasn’t really worried, I was sure she would be fine, although that minute did seem pretty long! She is still doing great! (FYI, it is VERY normal for this kind of thing to happen. The cord is often wrapped around the baby, but is not often dangerously so, and sometimes babies do take a minute or so to get their lungs clear from the amniotic fluid, again quite normal.)

I had prayed a shorter labor and wow I got it – way faster that I would have ever guessed! Really it was no more than THREE hours total! The midwife was originally going to have an assistant too.... yeah she didn't make it. It was funny though, I had imagined having this relaxing time in the tub while in earlier labor with candles and nice music… none of that happened! I had set up my oil diffuser before trying to go to sleep earlier and the Christmas lights were on but that was it! Not that I minded of course – it was very VERY intense (and honestly, I was screaming basically the entire time I was pushing) but then it was over! After about an hour she latched and sucked really well and has done great in that department ever since!

God was with us the entire journey. He knew what I and Liberty needed and got everyone there in time. It was fast and crazy but I wouldn't go back and change it for the world! Praising God for his grace, strength and this wonderful precious baby girl!

                                                   I caught her!!!! (Thanks Mom/surprise birth coach
                                                   for this picture)

                                                            Keller meeting his sister!

Why we chose her name:

This was a fairly rough pregnancy for me. For almost all of December I was not only physically not feeling well many days with fairly bad “morning” (all-day) sickness, but my hormones were crazy and I often felt depressed and anxious. Hope was something the Lord reminded me of and encouraged me with during this time. Thankfully the sickness and emotions eased, and I felt great until early April when the hormone/emotional struggles came back. And this was also about a month into the Covid-19 shutdown where I also began to be frustrated with how it was being handled. The liberty we have as American’s has always been very important to me and to see those being withheld, not to mention stripped (in various other areas as well) was very distressing to me. But the end of April the Lord began reminding me that while any freedom we have on this earth is temporal and can be so easily lost, but we have a steadfast hope in an eternal and perfect liberty in Christ where there will be no more sadness, disease or injustice. I still remember the moment the Lord pressed this name for my daughter on my heart and I wept with a sense of freedom and renewed hope. Liberty Hope! It took a little bit of time for Mike to come around about the name, although he did want me to have the lead in naming our first daughter, but it won him over too. Over and over this name has brought me so much encouragement and I trust and pray she will be a light and hope to many in this dark world.

Here is her name meaning and Bible passage it is based from:

Liberty: The state of being free - ultimately met our spiritual redemption and physical resurrection in Christ.

Hope: Steadfast confidence in a world of fear and uncertainty.

Rom 8:19-25 – “For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.”