The One that is God’s Best

 Over the past several months I have seen a number of blog posts and even videos addressing the question, does God have “one” person for me to marry, or, can I miss “the one” God has for me? Their conclusion was that God does not have one specific person for you to marry. Now, it’s not that these articles/video were not well written or don’t make good points, they are, and they make some GREAT points. I just don’t totally agree with the main point. While it is true that a spouse is not “the one” in that they will not complete and satisfy you (if you think that than there’s an idolatry issue), I do believe that God has a specific person that is “the one” for you to marry. I say this, and I'm nowhere close to being married yet!

In Scripture we find that God is sovereign over all of life, even, I believe, over our personal choices. It has been interesting to note that the one’s who are saying that God does not have one specific person for us are Reformed (have a higher view of God’s sovereignty). It’s rather bizarre to me that at least in this particular area my non-Reformed friends are holding tighter to God’s sovereignty than the others are. Really, if God is sovereign in one area, isn’t He also in another? If God is sovereign doesn’t He have a particular plan for your life – including who you should marry? (And vice versa I might add – either God is sovereign or He’s not!) Now it is right to address the fact that you can get obsessed with finding “the right one” and worrying before and after marriage if they are “the right one”. We should NOT go through our married life wondering if we married the right one or not. As far as I’m concerned, and Scripture would validate this, once you’re married – they’re the right one, (although with a few exceptions,¹ especially if a spouse dies, there very well may be another “one” that God has for that later time).

However, just because something happens or is ordained by God, doesn’t mean it’s the best thing. God is sovereign over our choices in that He is working all things according to His purpose and for our good (Rom 8:28), but I do think that you can miss out on something “better” if you are not walking in obedience and submission. The way I see it, God has two wills: an ordained will and a desired will, and these are not always the same.² His ordained will is what will happen. He has all the details of your life planned including where you will go to school, what jobs you will have, who you will marry. At the same time, God often has a “desired will” that may be different. For example, God does not want us to sin, but He allows it, ordains it (for what God allows He also must have ordained). God’s desire in situations like this is for us not to sin, but yet often we still do. It’s similar when we go through trials. God does not afflict His children “willingly” (Lam 3:33) but He still allows and ordains suffering to come into our lives. The reason is that He has a greater purpose. So we can see that God’s ordained will (what He ordains or allows to happen) is different from His desired will. When it comes to sin, I think we all realize that it’s “better” to just obey and not sin than to sin and deal with the consequences that result. To apply this toward the topic at hand, God has one specific person planned for you to marry (maybe more if they die), but it is possible for God to "desire" someone else for you that perhaps would been “better” and made life easier and nicer. We make choices every day and often have to take the consequences. While God makes “all things work together for good (Romans 8:28) that does not mean that another choice couldn’t have been “better” in the sense that there would be less conflict, consequences, etc. to deal with. (see footnote 2 at bottom.)

I want to re-emphasize that we should NOT go through life wondering if we “married the right one”³… what’s past is past, and you have to just trust that God's purpose is best, that He will use it for good in your life and keep moving forward. There is great hope in this! God forgives our mistakes and gives abundant grace for our future. We can not “fix” the past (and usually when we try to we end up sinning or making things worse). If you’re married, you’re married to the right one. If you're not married yet, stop worrying about "finding the right one" and focus on who you're meant to be. And who you're meant to be is a child of God, the bride of Christ. If God has someone He desires for you to marry, you don't need to worry about "missing" them if you are seeking Him first and foremost. Marriage is great and a beautiful picture of Christ and the church, but the reality is, there will be no marriage in Heaven. Our lives must be about Jesus, for that is what they were meant to be.  The point I’m driving at is that you need to trust that God is sovereign over this area of your life and has a specific plan. Pray, seek wise counsel, and walk in obedience and faith. 

Trust Him dear brothers and sisters, for He loves you more than any other could. Though you may have suffering, He is faithful and has a purpose for your pain. Trust Him and you will come through stronger. 

Footnotes:

1. From my understanding of Scripture, divorce is permitted if there is persistent or unrepentant sin in the breaking of marital vows. This would include (but not limited to): abandonment, emotional or physical affairs (by emotional I mean that the heart is involved - see Matthew 5:27-28), as well as emotional, physical, spiritual or other kinds of abuse…. Now, most or at least many will struggle with such sins, but again the key words here are persistent and unrepentant sin, not sin that genuinely is being fought against. If someone is in a marriage where there may be Biblical grounds for divorce, much wise counsel and prayer should be pursued. It should be remembered that it should be a last resort and that God “hates divorce” (Mal 2:16), but that it is allowed for the innocent party’s protection.

2. For more information about God’s two wills you might want to check out John Piper’s book Does God Have Two Wills?

3. Michael Patton does a great job addressing this on his blog: http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2010/11/is-it-possible-to-marry-the-wrong-person/

Reading List! (February 1, 2014)

 Finished this month:

On Asking God Why by Elisabeth Elliot

I love Elisabeth Elliot! We all ask God “why” at some point or another, we all have trials, suffering, loss, disappointments to walk through, and here Elisabeth shares some of hers. This was an encouraging book as we learn to trust God in the midst of life’s trials.

“My questions were not answered, but I wanted to ‘see’ God, to know Him. So I kept on reading the Book, kept trying to apply it to my life, kept bringing my own thinking and conduct under its authority, seeking God’s meaning in every event that touched me, including Jim’s death and other crises. As God had promised, His Word proved true. He instructed me. He kept me. He held me. He showed me all I needed to know for life and godliness, although He did not unfold all I wanted to know for understanding.” (p. 140-141, emphasis hers)

 “Oh no, don’t speak of things being lost. Say rather that they are hidden – received and accepted and taken up into the secrets of the Divine mysteries, to be transformed and multiplied…” (p. 26)

Addictions – A Banquet in the Grave by Edward T. Welch

This is a crucial book for anyone seeking to know how to help others with addictions (even less “serious” ones). It was helpful to me as well as we all have addiction-tendencies in our human nature! Sin can be summed up in the word: idolatry and our desires can easily give way to loving things more than we should.

It is filled some great really practical teaching and it has questions at the end of each chapter for personal application and to help apply it in helping others. I would highly recommend this book, you will find it to refocus or sharpen your Christian life and equip you to help others who are struggling with specific addictions or any other sin.

“Any earthly desire that doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer is a lust that surpasses your desire for Jesus himself.” (p. 225)

“If the problem of addiction is false worship, the answer is knowing the Lord, the One who deserves our worship. This is true theology, the study of God Himself.” (p. 141)

Temptation by John Owen

This has got to be one of the greatest Puritan Classics! It’s one of those books you have to read pretty carefully and slowly… otherwise much of it goes over your head. I don’t think I read it slowly enough, so I’ll probably read it again. Excellent though – John Owen is very discerning and led by the Spirit in how he teaches about the nature and work of temptation in our lives and how we can avoid and resist it.

“He who seeks to get the victory over any sin must also consider his temptations to it, and strike at that root. Without deliverance from this, he will not be healed.” (p. 53)

“And how does Paul come to have such an estimation of the most desirable things in the world? It is because of the very high estimation he had of the excellency of Christ.” (p. 102)

Les Misérables by Victor Hugo

A classic…. I confess I skipped over much of the historical chapters (it was a really long book!)

Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton

I started this, but then didn’t finish it… maybe at some point I will. Just a few comments… Please note that G.K. Chesterton was Roman Catholic so discernment is required while reading. It was rather interesting… very intellectual, although he claims to be more for mysticism (i.e. experience in his relationship with God) and more against intellectualism (for intellectualism’s sake).

In chapter 2 I found that he had a rather confused view of free will – thinking that it must be entire, and that we should not see so much “cause” in everything. However, he also says positively, “[The Mystic] has always cared more for truth than for consistency. If he saw two truths that seemed to contradict each other, he would take the two truths and the contradiction along with them… Thus he has always believed that there was such a thing as fate, but such a thing as free will also.” And: “The Christian permits free will to remain a sacred mystery.” I agree yes. But then, he repeatedly denounces the idea of “determinism” (known primarily today as Calvinism), calls it “alien logic” and compares it to madness. But wait… I agreed with the first… umm? (I think he’s a bit biased?)

He says in one place, “the madman is not the man who has lost his reason. The madman is the man who has lost everything except his reason.” At first I wasn’t sure about that, but as I thought about it, it’s quite brilliant. One who is mad can still be “reasonable” in many ways.

He also says, “Imagination does not breed insanity. Exactly what does breed insanity is reason.” I see what he’s saying, but I would say that it’s when imagination becomes reason is when there’s insanity. We need reason, and we need mystery, but if one supersedes the other then we have confusion.

Currently Reading:

Shame Interrupted by Ed Welch (on my Kindle)

Walking With God Through Pain and Suffering by Tim Keller

The End of the Spear by Steve Saint (seen the Movie, haven’t yet read the book)

Additional books I want to read this month:

For my CCEF class I will be reading Why Does It Have to Hurt? by Dan McCartney

The Joy of Fearing God by Jerry Bridges

Convergence by Sam Storms

I really want to finish all these this month because... well, you'll have to wait till next month to find out why! :-D

 

When Life Breaks Your Heart

“When you can’t see past the tears, trust His heart” – C.H. Spurgeon

Usually when we hear the term “broken heart” we think of it in terms of a broken romantic relationship, but the truth is our heart can be broken when anything our heart has hoped in is disappointed. We hope for a job, promotion, or opportunity and we don’t get it; we hope for a certain direction in life and are dissuaded by sickness, finances, family problems, or who-knows what else; we hope for happiness but often trials and heartache find us instead. Proverbs says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick,” (Prov 13:12) and when hope is disappointed the heart is indeed as if “sick,” we just tend to use the term “broken”. Emotional pain is very real… and you can’t put a band-aid on it. If it is not dealt with it can lead to depression and even physical illness. And then you can lose hope altogether which is why it has led some to their death or to the taking of their own life. It is possible to die from a broken heart.

However, as a Christian who believes in both the complete sovereignty and perfect goodness of God, I have often sought to understand His purposes for my trials. The path of pain is often mysterious but we do know that in all things God has one ultimate purpose, to conform His children to the image of Christ (Rom 8:28-29). Each time as I have allowed the Lord to work in my heart He has revealed things in my heart that He wanted to correct. This is not to say that we always bring hardship or pain on ourselves because of our sin, although that is sometimes the case. Often the Lord simply allows us to go through hard circumstances in order to grow our faith. If we never struggled, we would never grow. “No pain, no gain” is a motto that the Apostle Paul exemplified.

While there have been many things that I’ve learned through seasons of brokenness, the correction (teaching) has often centered around one question the Spirit whispers to my heart, “Beloved, where is your hope?” Psalm 42:5 says, “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? And why art thou disquieted in me? Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.” I chose to use the KJV here because I love the beautiful language of the command: “Hope thou in God”. In Psalm 27:13-14 it says this, “I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait I say, on the LORD.” Without hope we lose heart, so we must believe. Believe in what? In the goodness of God! Hold on to your faith that God is good and that one day all will be made right. A.W. Tozer wrote, “Whether we are happy or unhappy at any given time is not important. That we be in the will of God is all that matters. We may safely leave with Him the incident of heartache or happiness. He will know how much we need of either or both.” Yes, feelings matter. And we shouldn’t just dismiss the hurt that someone feels. But feelings are not truth. We must look beyond how we feel to Christ who, by the way, suffered more than we ever could.

Jim and Elisabeth Elliot are two of my heroes. Despite their love and desire to marry they waited about 4 years before Jim finally sensed the Lord’s timing and leading them to be joined. Then, less than 2 ½ years later (when their daughter was only a year old) Jim was killed by the natives he was trying to reach with the Gospel. A few years later Elisabeth spent several years in the jungle with the very men who had murdered her husband teaching them the Scriptures. She remarried fourteen years later but then lost that husband to cancer after only 4 years. Having had her share of intense trials, loss, along with struggles with trusting God and forgiving those who had hurt her, she wrote this, “God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God's refusals are always merciful -- "severe mercies" at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.”

I am awed by that truth, are you? It’s one of those truths that can be really hard to believe, but yet we must, for it IS true. And there is great comfort in that – that no matter what pain we go through, God has something bigger in mind. May God help us to embrace the hard lessons, for they are the way to growth.

I will close this by sharing my all-time favorite quote. This prayer by Elisabeth Elliot I have often found myself echoing, sometimes amidst tears and feelings of frustration:

Perhaps some future day Lord,

Thy strong hand will lead me to a place where I must stand

Utterly alone.

Alone, O gracious Love

But for Thee;

I shall be satisfied if I can see – Jesus only.

I do not know Thy plans for years to come

My spirit finds its perfect home sufficiency.

Lord, all my desire is before Thee now

Lead on, no matter where, no matter what – I trust in Thee.

Reducing God to a Mathematical Equation

Recently I overheard two people talking. I didn’t catch the beginning of the conversation but they were very evidently discussing how the Calvinist/Reformed view of God’s sovereignty (in sovereignly and decisively electing only some to salvation) was wrong and unbiblical. Being one who didn’t agree with their assessment I curiously listened to what their arguments were, especially since one of them was a pastor whom I knew.

In their conversation they made it clear that they believed God “sovereignly” chose to give man free will to choose salvation. That He “knew what I would choose” and He then apparently just helped things along. One of them made the statement, “I’ve made the choices I’ve made” and that anything that happened was the result of their own choosing. My pastor-friend then proceeded to compare the scope of atonement to a mathematical equation and election to physics – as if they could be explained using x+y=z.

I was shocked. Can we reduce God to a mathematical equation?

More that that, can we, SHOULD we, trust a God who has no real control over our lives? If we truly have free will than our choices are not really under God’s control… so when bad things happen it’s simply the result of someone else's free will and God just stood by rather helplessly? Or, maybe God allowed it simply because we chose it? Does God “will” things based on our choice, or based on His infinite wisdom? What about Proverbs 16:33 that says, “The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.”

And then there’s Isaiah who records God saying,

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

The Transcendence of God

“Transcendence” is defined as “Very excellent; superior or supreme in excellence; surpassing others” (Webster’s 1828 dictionary). God is infinitely bigger than our ability to understand. He cannot be explained by human logic or explanation. Psalm 113:4-6 says this about God:

The Lord is high above all nations, His glory above the heavens. Who is like the Lord our God, Who dwells on high, Who humbles Himself to behold the things that are in the heavens and in the earth?

This last phrase is what we mean when we speak of God’s “condescension”. God came down to our level. He “stooped” to our plane of understanding and comprehension. There’s a theological term that we use when God refers to Himself it human terms it’s an anthropomorphism. Just because God describes Himself as a man with human feelings, emotions etc. does not mean that’s how we should take Him. He is not a god after our image. He is not like us.

In seeking to understand God, we cannot be reduced to human reasoning. We must have a proper fear of God – that is, a proper awe, respect and humility. One definition Ed Welch gives of the fear of the Lord is that “it goes further than an intellectual understanding.”  (Addictions, p. 175) We must see God as bigger and higher than what we can put into our minds and we must look at Scripture and accept it as so even when we do not understand it.

Is Christ fully man or fully God? Yes. Is God just or is He merciful? Yes. Are the Scriptures written by God or man? Yes. Is God completely sovereign or does He give man free will? Yes. The Scriptures are full of mystery, paradoxes abound, but we must seek to say yes to Scripture and not silence any of it! I love how John Piper put it in his book Does God Desire All to Be Saved?: “The Scriptures lead us again and again to affirm that God’s will is sometimes spoken of as an expression of His moral standards for human behavior and sometimes as an expression of His sovereign control even over acts that are contrary to that standard.” (p. 35) R.C. Sproul writes, “…divine sovereignty is not an issue peculiar to Calvinism, or even to Christianity. Without sovereignty God cannot be God. If we reject divine sovereignty than we must embrace atheism. This is the problem we all face. We must hold tightly to God’s sovereignty. Yet we must do it in such a way so as not to violate human freedom.”

To go back to the conversation I overheard, I will mention at this point that not once during this conversation did I hear these two friends quote or even allude to Scripture. Their arguments were based entirely on their own reason and logic. This also amazed me. When you start off basing your theological arguments on human logic rather than Scripture, you are on shallow ground. Now, they probably could have brought Scripture to the table if questioned, although their answers, I suspect, would probably contradict their belief system that they just tried to build. Why? Because God just does not make sense! His ways cannot be explained using human logic.

At the time I didn’t say anything to either of these people, partly from shock, but mostly I thought it wise to hold my tongue since I probably would have been a little more irritated than loving in my response. But I was rather dying to ask them a few questions…. If what you say is true, than why should I trust Him? Why on earth should I pray? Why should I ask God to guide me? If He just looks through time and sees my choices why do I need Him? Should I just take the gift of salvation and move through life on my own? I doubt they would agree with this, so, Why not? If God is not in control over my life why should put my dependence on Him?

But God CAN be trusted, because He is in control; because He makes promises and acts to fulfill them, and no human will can stand in His way. Isn’t that what gives us confidence? That no matter what He has a plan, and He is going to fulfill it for our good and His glory. And this is why He deserves our worship!

I just want to state in closing that I have many dear friends who reject the Reformed view of God’s sovereignty. I love them dearly and seek to not allow this differing viewpoint to sour our fellowship in the Lord. But I DO think it’s worth arguing about sometimes – especially when it comes down to how we view God. God’s character (don’t you think?) is worth defending. As I quoted above, John Piper wrote an excellent book called Does God Desire All to Be Saved? The answer is yes, but it’s not a simple yes. He goes on to explain and show that just because God “desires” something doesn’t mean He acts to bring it about. It’s the age-old question of “does God have two wills?” If you want to be versed in this debate you need to read this book! Its arguments are important for you to understand and be able to defend/refute. Hint: Read all the footnotes too! I welcome your comments – just please make sure you know what you’re talking about first! I don’t respond to disrespectful, or uneducated (notice I did NOT say unintelligent!) arguments. Although Spurgeon might not agree… but I’m glad he said it and not me. :-)

“The doctrines of original sin, election, effectual calling, final perseverance, and all those great truths which are called Calvinism – though Calvin was not the author of them, but simply an able writer and preacher upon the subject – are, I believe, the essential doctrines of the Gospel that is in Jesus Christ. Now, I do not ask you whether you believe all this – it is possible you may not; but I believe you will before you enter heaven. I am persuaded that as God may have washed your hearts, he will wash your brains before you enter heaven.” -- C.H. Spurgeon

Reading List! (January 1, 2014)

Happy New Year! December was actually quite a busy month, but I still got a LOT of reading done! And… I got a Kindle for Christmas. I have been quite against digital books because I really like “real” ones, but I must say… I love it! I still say I shall still never give up my real, paper and ink books for digital and there will still be books I shall want to get to hold in my hands and keep on my bookshelf!

“…the only knowledge worth having in the end is knowledge that leads to love – love for God and love for people.” (- John Piper, Does God Desire All to Be Saved? p. 11)

Finished this month:

When I Don’t Desire God – How to Fight for Joy by John Piper

This is my second time reading this book and it’s in my “top 10” list. It’s such an amazing book (unless you’re the kind of Christian who is just happy all the time and you never struggle…). One question he asks is one that I have sometimes struggled over: “How can all these good things serve joy in God, and not usurp the supreme affections of our hearts?” (p.178) This he discusses in some detail for a few chapters and it is very helpful. Convicting, yes, but that’s a good thing.

“… the way we destroy deceitful, joy-killing desires that threaten to overwhelm us with destructive cravings is to hear and believe the Word of God when it says that He and His ways are more to be desired than all that sin can offer.” – John Piper, When I Don’t Desire God, p. 105

The Jefferson Lies – exposing the myths you’ve always believed about Thomas Jefferson by David Barton

If you want to better know who the real Thomas Jefferson was, you should read this book! It’s amazing to me, that even with my classical Christian-based education I’ve still gotten some false information or impressions about Jefferson. It is so sad how so many people have taken his own writing (and other information spoken about him) out of its context and defamed him, his beliefs and character. I could write a whole blog post reviewing these lies… oh wait, I did here….

“My views… [are] very different from the anti-Christian system imputed to me by those who know nothing of my opinions.” (p. 83)

A Call to Spiritual Reformation by D.A Carson

I had started this book quite some time ago and never finished it… so I did! It was really excellent. When I first started it, it was a bit tedious, and then I got distracted by some other books so it got set aside. But it was a great book on prayer; why we should pray, why we don’t often pray, how Paul prayed and how we should imitate him.

“It takes nothing less than the power of God to enable us to grasp the love of Christ. Part of our deep ‘me-ism’ is manifested in such independence that we do not really want to get so close to God that we feel dependent upon him, swamped by his love. Just as in a marriage a spouse may flee relationships that are too intimate, judging them to be a kind of invasion of privacy when in reality such a reaction is a sign of intense immaturity and selfishness, so also in the spiritual arena: when we are drawn a little closer to the living God, many of us want to back off and stake out our own turf. We want to experience power so that we can be in control…. Our deep and pathetic self-centeredness is precisely why it takes the power of God to transform us…” (p.197)

Choosing Forgiveness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

I have written a review of this book here. This book was something I really needed. Not only does it delve into forgiveness, but it goes deeper into anger, resentment and bitterness. It's a powerful book that every Christian should read!

“God has grace available to help us deal with the offense and forgive the offender. At that point, we have one of two choices: We can acknowledge our need and humbly reach out to Him for His grace to forgive and release the offender. Or we can resist Him, fail to receive His grace, and hold on to the hurt.” (Choosing Forgiveness p. 75)

Distinguishing Marks of the Spirit of God by Jonathan Edwards

This is the first thing I downloaded on my new Kindle that I got on Christmas day. It was .99! And I read it in 3 days! :-)

In the 1^st section he dispels arguments that some use to show that a work is not of the Spirit of God (example: “What the church has been used to, is not a rule by which we are to judge; because there may be new and extraordinary works of God, and he has heretofore evidently wrought in an extraordinary manner.” And “It is not reasonable to determine that a work is not from God’s Holy Spirit because of the extraordinary degree in which the minds of persons are influenced.”). In the 2^nd he discusses what clear indicators are that can make us quite sure a work is of God (example: “The surest character of true divine supernatural love – distinguishing it from counterfeits that arise from a natural self love – is, that the Christian virtue of humility shines in it; that which above all others renounces, abases, and annihilates what we term self.”), and the 3^rd section is application (here’s a great quote: “Lukewarmness in religion is abominable, and zeal an excellent grace; yet above all other Christian virtues, this needs to be strictly watched and searched; for it is that with which corruption, and particularly pride and human passion, is exceedingly apt to mix unobserved.”)

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens

I don’t recall ever reading this before… it was free on my Kindle. A great classic!

“…now, when suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught be to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” 

– Estella to Pip.

Does God Desire All to Be Saved? by John Piper

This is a short book, but very intellectual. It was rather helpful to me though – and it led me to worship and love God more for His infinite love, wisdom and mercy! The introduction to the book was great – I love Piper’s humility about the whole thing!

“God’s expression of pity and His entreaties have heart in them. There is a genuine inclination in God’s heart to spare those who have committed treason against His kingdom. But His motivation is complex, and not every true element in it rises to the level of effective choice. In His great and mysterious heart, there are kinds of longings and desires that are real – they tell us something true about His character. Yet not all of these longings govern His actions. He is governed by the depth of His wisdom expressed through a plan that no ordinary human deliberation would ever conceive (Rom 11:33-36; 1 Cor 2:9). There are holy and just reasons why the affections of God’s heart have the nature, intensity, and proportion that they do.” (p. 49)

Currently Reading:

On Asking God Why by Elisabeth Elliot

Addictions – A Banquet in the Grave by Edward T. Welch (I was reading this as a study with a friend, and want to finish it this month!)

Additional books I want to read this month:

Temptation by John Owen

Walking With God Through Pain and Suffering by Tim Keller

Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton (on my Kindle)

Les Misérables by Victor Hugo (another Classic that I’d like to read on my Kindle)

Also, over the next 3 months I am taking a Biblical Counseling course through CCEF (www.ccef.com). The two books I’ll be reading for it are:

Why Does it Have to Hurt? by Dan McCartney & The Christian Life by Sinclair Ferguson

BONUS: If you’d like to know what my “top picks” are for this past year, here they are:

Dug Down Deep by Joshua Harris

When People are Big and God is Small by Edward Welch

When I Don’t Desire God – How to Fight for Joy by John Piper

Choosing Forgiveness by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

Choosing Forgiveness (Book Review)

The reality is, in this sinful world we will be hurt. We will be sinned against. We will be disappointed. When painful circumstances come, how do we handle our hurt? Some, like myself, have an easier time letting go of things, but even then, deep down, there are still traces of bitterness that linger and build up over time. It has been said that our emotions affect our physical health and well-being. An emotionally healthy person is a whole person. Feelings of anger and bitterness will eventually wear down the body mentally and physically. How do we deal with these feelings? We go to the root. Where there are feelings of anger and bitterness, there’s usually a heart of unforgiveness that needs to be dealt with. Nancy Leigh DeMoss does a wonderful job in this book discussing these, acknowledging that pain is real, but yet not excusing our responsibility in how we respond to circumstances in our lives. She shares several stories with varied circumstances where individuals had to choose to forgive despite their pain and loss and at the end of each chapter are follow-up questions to apply what you’ve read.

She discusses bitterness and how to recognize when it has crept into your heart. In connection with this, a question that lingers throughout the book is, who is really being hurt by the bitterness, anger and unforgiveness in your heart? By holding another person hostage by our unforgiveness, we are holding ourselves captive as well. She compares it to “drinking poison and hoping someone else would die” (p. 50). Bitterness often feels good, it’s like a safety-zone. But “it’s a fall-back position doomed to failure… the cure for bitterness is to trust both His hand and His heart and to ‘draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that [you] may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need’ (Heb 4:16, NASB).” (p. 79)

She also reminds us that “forgiven people forgive others” but that “even forgiven people can struggle to forgive”. (p. 69) Ultimately though, our unforgiveness comes back to our relationship with God and our understanding of His forgiveness. She also reminds us that it is only God’s grace that we are enabled with the strength to forgive, even when we don’t feel like it. It’s a choice, not a feeling. But not usually just a one-time choice; we have to choose over and over again to let it go. It does not have to be a process, it’s something you practice. She writes, “I believe that, as a rule, the point of forgiveness is followed by a process of healing and restoration – not the other way around.” (p. 176)

Do we need to “forgive ourselves”? What about “forgiving God”? These are things she discusses as well. In chapter 6 she discusses anger towards God which is often the heart of anger towards others. She answers questions about how we deal with those feelings and what our attitude should be towards God in spite of our trials. Knowing that God is sovereign in our trials gives us hope – there is a goal and an end in sight! We can trust Him and we must trust that He has a purpose in our trial, yes, even this. Even Jesus was “perfected through suffering,” (see Hebrews 2:10) and so are we.

I found this book immensely helpful. It was convicting but so encouraging! A must-read for all Christians, no matter where you are in life – if it doesn’t help you now, it will at some point and also equip you to help others.

"But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.” (Luke 6:27-28, NKJV)

Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled…  (Heb 12:14-15, NKJV)

The Jefferson Lies (Book Review)

 “My views… [are] very different from the anti-Christian system imputed to me by those who 

know nothing of my opinions.” – Thomas Jefferson, The Jefferson Lies p. 83

We should be interested in truth. Unfortunately, the world is interested in promoting and advancing its own worldview and to accomplish that it is willing to twist the facts and even re-write history. It is important that we examine the facts and know the truth about the history of the United States, and about our founding fathers. It tell us what this country was founded upon and what its values were. Thomas Jefferson is one that is most often dismissed today as racist, secular, anti-Christian and worse. David Barton wrote a book called, The Jefferson Lies – exposing the myths you’ve always believed about Thomas Jefferson. In it he specifically examines 7 things about Jefferson that are told as factual by most universities and scholars in America today. If they are true, it raises some serious questions about the man who had a key role in the founding of our country, and if false, than we have a real hero in Thomas Jefferson that we should greatly admire and honor.

I will give the “7 Lies” here and briefly describe the facts surrounding them. I would highly recommend you get and read the book for yourself though – don’t just take my word for it.  (http://www.amazon.com/The-Jefferson-Lies-Exposing-Believed/dp/1595554599 ) You should note that the book was originally published by Thomas Nelson, but they pulled it because of "historical errors". It is my opinion that while Barton probably tried a little too hard to make Jefferson more orthodox (this really only comes out in chapter 7), the bulk of the book is addressing the lies that he had no real Christian or Biblical values or character. Thus, I still found it very interesting and helpful.

Lie #1: Thomas Jefferson Fathered Sally Hemings’ children. There is no evidence to prove this, and actually all DNA testing has shown that Thomas Jefferson was absolutely not the father of two of her children (which are the two that have most often been claimed are). This chapter explains where this lie first came from and the research and testing done to examine it.

Lie #2: Thomas Jefferson founded a secular university. Not true. The university he helped to start (the University of Virginia) was merely the first university that was not associated with one particular denomination. It was in fact America’s first inter-denominational school but was not secular by any means, in fact, it was quite the opposite. He designated a building in the center of the campus to be used for religious worship and he actually invited seminaries of various denominations to establish groups on the campus. He explained,

“We suggest the expediency of encouraging the different religious sects [denominations] to establish, each for itself, a professor ship of their own tenets on the confines of the university so near as that the students may attend lectures there and have the free use of our library and every other accommodation we can give them… [B]y bringing the sects [denominations] together and mixing them with the mass of other students, we shall soften their asperities [harshness], liberalize and neutralize their prejudices [prejudgment without an examination of the facts], and make the general religion a religion of peace, reason and morality.” (see p. 48)

He also wrote that “the students of the university will be free and expected to attend religious worship at the establishment of their respective sects.” (see p. 54) That is hardly secular!

Lie #3: Thomas Jefferson wrote his own Bible and edited out things he didn’t agree with.

Thomas Jefferson did not write his own “Bible”. He did however, write an abridgement of the New Testament as a translation for the Indians (made it simple for them to be able to read it), and he also had a book he wrote (for his personal use only) that was basically just all the “red letters” of Jesus speaking from the Gospels so that he could focus just on the words of Jesus. However, in neither of these writings did Jefferson omit facts, miraculous events, etc. (see p. 67&ff) To say he wrote his own Bible is simply a very large exaggeration.

Lie #4: Thomas Jefferson was a racist who opposed equality for black Americans. While Jefferson was a man of his times (where slavery was common), it's not really fair to say this at all. One argument that people will use is that Jefferson didn’t even free his slaves upon his death (unlike George Washington, although I’ve heard him condemned nonetheless). The short answer for this is that he couldn’t because of Virginia state law at the time, but he wrote to a friend that he wished he could. There’s context of history and the culture of the times to understand in all of this as well and we shouldn’t rush to conclusions. (More on this on pages 91-93.) From Jefferson’s own pen:

“The whole commerce between master and slave is… the most unremitting despotism on the one part, and the degrading submissions on the other… And with what execrations [denunciations] should the statesman be loaded who permit[s] one half the citizens thus to trample on the rights of the other… And can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis – a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are of the gift of God? … Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, that His justice cannot sleep forever… [T]he way, I hope, [is] preparing under the auspices of Heaven for a total emancipation.” (see p. 102)

You can also read of Jefferson’s advocacy for escaped slaves, his petitions for anti-slavery laws and his reaction to the Missouri compromise in this chapter. Quite enlightening.

Lie #5: Thomas Jefferson advocated a secular public square through the separation of church and state. I was already aware that in our modern society Jefferson’s “separation of church and state” clause that he wrote in a letter in 1802 (to the Danbury Baptists in Connecticut) has often been taken out of context and used so as to keep religion out of the public square.  What Jefferson intended by that phrase was that the government had no right to put limitations on the free exercise of religion, NOT that religion had no place in the government. In fact, he himself advocated Christian morality and principles to be laws. This can be proved by his actions as a statesman, Governor and President. Thomas Jefferson introduced several bills in the Virginia legislature including (see p. 131):

-A bill for punishing disturbers of religious worship and Sabbath breakers.

-A bill for appointing days of fasting and prayer.

-A bill annulling marriages prohibited by Levitical law and appointing the mode of solemnizing lawful marriage.

-A bill for saving the property of the church heretofore by law established.

Also, as Governor of Virginia, he signed several bills into law that reflected Biblical morality and instituted that everyone taking an oath of office should say “So help me God.” (see p. 132)

Another interesting fact is that two days after Jefferson wrote the famous letter to the Danbury Baptists, he arranged for a Baptist minister named John Leland to preach at the church at the Capitol (and that’s another thing - yes, Jefferson was the one who helped to form the church that met right in the federal capitol building!). David Barton writes this about this event: “Didn’t Jefferson understand the ‘separation’ doctrine that he had just penned? Of course he did, and he understood that the separation prohibited the government from preventing a religious expression, which is why having church in the Capitol was completely acceptable.” (see p. 151, emphasis his)

Lie #6: Thomas Jefferson detested the clergy. That doesn’t make a lick of sense based on the paragraph above. Jefferson regularly invited clergy to speak at the church in the Capitol. The clergy he “detested” were a few in the northern states who wrote and spoke blatant lies about him! Context again… (see p. 141&ff)

Lie #7: Thomas Jefferson was an atheist and not a Christian. He most certainly was NOT an atheist… this is one of the most ridiculous lies out there as it can very easily be proven otherwise. Jefferson also was NOT a deist – he believed in a very personal God. While at the end of the life he was following some “Progressive” (Unitarian-type) beliefs, he always maintained and held fast to his belief in God. (see p. 165&ff)  While his orthodoxy may be questionable, Jefferson did have a profoundly Christian worldview. And if you want to know who were most fundamental in shaping Jefferson’s thinking you can find out in his own words: “Bacon, Newton and Locke… [are] my trinity of the three greatest men the world had ever produced.” (see p. 38) All three of these men were solid, Biblical Christians.  

Truth needs to be sought out. Let us seek to find it out. For further study you can read Jefferson's works at this website:

http://oll.libertyfund.org/index.php?option=com_staticxt&staticfile=show.php%3Fperson=3777&Itemid=28

Additional Note: For a great book on George Washington read George Washington’s Sacred Fire by Peter Lillback. It is a whopping 725 pages (not including the additional 10 Appendix’s and then over two hundred pages of footnotes, in small font!), but gives you tons of information and writing by Washington himself to argue that he was indeed a Christian and not a deist like many claim. I have read it, and it's very good!

http://www.amazon.com/George-Washingtons-Sacred-Peter-Lillback/dp/0978605268