Girls, You Deserve Better than Mr. Grey

Talk about a hot-topic issue. Why am I even writing this? There have been TONS of articles written about this already, good ones too! But still I am stirred and concerned. Some have tried to dismiss it as not a big deal. Fifty Shades of Grey is just a book, it’s just a movie. But girls, let me tell you, you deserve better than Mr. Grey.

This book and movie are fiction yes, but our minds work in crazy ways. We know in our minds that it’s fiction but yet there’s something in us that wants to believe that this portrayal of what love and relationship is is real. I mean let’s be honest girls; we want a man to want us, to desire us, to know us, to love us. As women we want to feel needed and we get a satisfaction (and feel loved) knowing that someone wants and desires us. I want that! And I’ll be honest with you, there’s a part of me that wants to drink at the well of what Mr. Grey has to offer. It looks good, it can feel so normal and “right”. Why do I have to wait when it’s offered to me right now? And why not read and watch things that allow me to feel those feelings by just relishing them in my mind? After all, I’m not actually doing anything…. Am I? Actually Proverbs tells us that as one thinks in his heart, so is he (Prov 23:7), in other words, we are what we think. Over and over Scripture admonishes us to be careful what we think. Our thinking and feeling are what drives our actions. Don’t be deceived into thinking that you can just read and watch something and it won’t affect you. The Holy Spirit says, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life” (Gal 6:7-8), and “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace" (Rom 8:5-6).

What I think and feel are not an accurate gauge for what is really right and good. While there’s nothing wrong with desiring relationship and sex (they were after all created by God) we need to look a little further. The truth is that what we really want is to satisfy ourselves, we want our desires to be fulfilled. We want a man to want us for us, not for him. We want someone to love us and to feel loved, and we are willing to give ourselves to receive affection and good feelings. We crave this so much that we are willing to sin to get what we want, and maybe we are willing to be used to have a fleeting grasp on that satisfaction that comes by being wanted, by feeling” loved”. But the truth is that first of all, that’s not love, and second of all, it will never be enough. No matter how much you pursue it, satisfaction from relationships or sex will never satisfy your deepest desires.

Where does lasting satisfaction come from? You were created by God. You are not an object to be used for a man’s pleasure; neither are you a slave to sexual desires. God created sex too, but He created it for a purpose. Satisfaction cannot be found in the “right” guy, in sexual fulfillment, in work, in your children, or in anything else on this earth! We were made for something more, we were made for someONE more. We were made for God, made to be like Him, to reflect Him, to rule the earth as princes and princesses, to be the bride of Christ Himself!

Love is not just a feeling. Love existed before humans were created, before there was sex. Love is a person and His name is Jesus. And while the truth is that we “deserve” nothing because of our sin we were still created with a purpose and we deserve better than what the Devil has to offer. Girls, you deserve better than Mr. Grey. You deserve more than temporary pleasures when you have been offered all the promises of God in Christ. Don't drink at the well of the world, when you have the river of Christ to satisfy you. You have the opportunity to be one with Christ, to be His. He did not die so that you could be a slave, He died so that you could be free. Not free to pursue your own desires (because that actually is slavery) but free to be who He intended you to be. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians, “For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again” (2 Cor 5:14-15). Don't give into the temptation to fill your mind and heart with the fleeting pleasures of sin. There are no happy endings there. We were made for something more, we were made for Him. And He is the only one who will satisfy your heart.