Now as He [Jesus] was going out on the road, one came running, knelt
before Him, and asked Him, "Good Teacher, what shall I do that I may
inherit eternal life?" So Jesus said to him, "Why do you call Me
good? No one is good but One, that is, God. You know the commandments: 'Do not
commit adultery,' 'Do not murder,' 'Do not steal,' 'Do not bear false witness,'
'Do not defraud,' 'Honor your father and your mother.' " And he answered
and said to Him, "Teacher, all these things I have kept from my
youth." Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, "One thing
you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you
will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me."
- Mark 10:17-21 (NKJV)
This is my spiritual testimony. When asked to write a
paragraph or so about it in times past I would often have a bit of a hard time
writing it… it wasn’t very exciting, and I to be honest, I wasn’t even completely
confident of when and where I actually became a Christian. That is, until
recently.
I am very blessed to have grown up in a strong Christian
family where my Dad put priority on going to Sunday School, church Sunday
morning and evening as well as different church activities and prayer meeting
during the week. I grew up hearing the Bible read by my parents and teachers
and pastors at church. I loved knowing things, and had a knack for remembering
details so it was no surprise that I was the girl who always knew all the
answers in Sunday School; my classmates even called me “the walking Bible”. One
Sunday when I was 8, my Sunday School teacher was talking about something in
relation to the Gospel and I asked my parents on the way home about being
saved. At home my parents shared something like the Romans Road with me and I prayed and
“asked Jesus into my heart”. I was saved… right? I believed Jesus died for my
sin. I knew I wasn’t perfect and certainly didn’t want to go to hell; I knew I
needed Jesus to save me. So I saw no reason why I shouldn’t call myself a
Christian and be assured that I was on my way to heaven.
“Christ is willing to receive any sinners. But he will not receive them
if they will stick to their sins.” –
J.C. Ryle
When I was 11 I asked to be baptized. It was of my own accord;
I knew it was commanded to those who believed in Jesus and wanted to be
obedient. I took a baptism/membership class, but as I looked back years later I
realized I didn’t really understand what baptism really symbolized. To me, it
was just something you were supposed to do if you were a Christian. Just like
“go to church” and “read your Bible” and “obey your parents”. There was no real
spiritual significance. Nonetheless, I was baptized. My pastor had to lift me
up a bit so the congregation could see me and I testified that I believed in
Jesus and wanted to obey Him. Surely, that was evidence that I was saved…
right?
“There is no Christianity without death” – Martin Lloyd-Jones
Fast forward 2 years. I was 13, and sometime in January or
February I went with my youth group on a retreat at a Christian camp. I have no
recollection of who the speaker was or anything else that happened that
weekend, but I do remember one thing: God got a hold of my life. My eyes were
opened to the truth that I really had no goodness in me, that I was a sinner
and deserved eternal hell forever. I
realized that nothing I did could make God more pleased with me, but also
beheld for the first time the glory and beauty of Christ. I understood what He
had really done for me – He gave His life so I could live. He gave His life so
that I could be free from the tyranny of sin. He gave His life so that I could
be HIS. And if I was His, than I ought to do nothing less than live for Him. He
was worthy of my whole life! That weekend I “re-dedicated” my life, to the One
who was not just my Savior, but my Lord. I laid down my life that day and
committed myself to His purposes and plans.
“The new life seizes upon the believing man’s nature and sets about its
benign conquest, a conquest that is not complete until the invading life has
taken full possession and a new creature has emerged. And this is an act of God
without human aid, for it is a moral miracle and a spiritual resurrection.” – A.W. Tozer
The past few years I’ve wrestled with the question of
whether I was really saved at 8 or if it was when I was 13. Or maybe it was
somewhere in between? I was convinced in my mind, but the Holy Spirit still
continued to whisper to my heart that until one gives their life to Christ in
full surrender and obedience they aren’t really His. Then recently I came
across a journal/diary from the year I was 13 and as I looked at the entries
before this event it was all along the lines of “Dear Diary… I did such and
such… I want my friends to like me… I like this boy…” In other words, me,
myself and I. But the entries following this event were immediately and strikingly
different. They read something like this: “Dear God, thank you for a good day…
please help me to honor You and obey mom and dad… Please help me to tell my
friend about Jesus… I’m struggling with liking this boy, but I know I need to
focus on loving You first…” Now, I sincerely believed Jesus was Savior when I
was 8, but when I read these entry’s a few weeks ago I finally knew for sure… what
happened when I was 13 was not “re-dedication”, that was salvation. The Apostle
Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new
creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (2
Cor 5:17) Jesus said the following:
Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the
ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He
who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will
keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and
where I am, there My servant will be also.
John 12:24-26 (NKJV)
He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And
he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And
he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He
who finds his life will lose it,
and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
Matt 10:37-39 (NKJV)
The day I was saved, was the day I heard my Shepherd’s call
to follow Him, and I did, leaving everything behind. I was His, and He was
mine. My life was changed in a moment, but it would continue to change to be
more and more like His. My practical sanctification had begun.
“O God, I accept Thy demands. I
am Thine and all that I have. Absolute surrender is what my soul yields to Thee
by Divine grace.”
– Andrew Murray
How about you?
Let me ask you, when did God change you? Not, ‘when did you
ask Jesus into your heart’, or ‘when did you believe in Jesus’ or ‘when were
you baptized,’ and not even ‘when were you saved,’ but really, when did God
change you?
If at some point you believed in Jesus as a savior from sin
and hell, but yet you didn’t experience a change in your life – a new
perspective, a new way of thinking, a desire for the Word of God – than your
faith is empty and you are still in your sins.
Jesus didn’t just die for your sins He died to change your
life!
Has God changed you?
To know more about what the Gospel is: http://www.heartcrymissionary.com/about-us/the-gospel-of-jesus-christ
*This is Part 1 of a series I wrote on my spiritual journey - for the following posts see click the label "Personal Testimony" below to the right. Or go here: http://thesacredpursuit.blogspot.com/search/label/Personal%20testimony
